I admit I have rage issues. Sometimes I deal with them by guzzling Bartles & James wine coolers. Sometimes I drop-kick newborns. Lucky for me, tonight I just need to tune into True Hollywood Story: Rachael Ray (E! 8 PM) and unleash a tirade of pirate-speak on the World's Most Obnoxious Human Ever. In a way, I'm grateful for Ray and her godforsaken EVOO. Watching her is my equivalent of primal scream therapy.

The Office (NBC, 9 PM) finale is tonight, and if the promos are accurate, we'll ALL be talking about the shit that goes down tomorrow morning. Obvs, events have been leading up to a Jim-Pam engagement, but undoubtedly there's more in store. Seriously what the fuck am I gonna do with myself on Thursdays now that The Office and 30 Rock are on hiatus? Do I need to start trying to have a life or something? Ew.

Is Claire dead? Or merely trapped in a Netherworld of tropical fruit and mosquitoes and deceased kinfolk? Will Kate and Juliet succeed in rescuing Jack? Who cares? Everyone's waiting for the finale next week, which has already been teased to reveal the shipwrecked six on their way home. That said, this week's episode of Lost (ABC, 10 PM) will probably have plot twists galore. And they will probably make you pee yourself.

Sa-MAN-thuh! Alyssa Milano may be singing her swan song on My Name Is Earl (NBC, 8:30) if the Billie-Earl union continues on its rocky path. I have never been married, but even I know that it's a bad idea to come between a man and his obsession. Unless that obsession involves Madame Alexander dolls.

Oh snap! This week on Grey's Anatomy (ABC, 9 PM): Alex finds out the truth about Rebecca's "condition," ie that she's a crazy betch. Meredith and her shrink go toe to toe. And some, like, medical shit happens, too.

What is with all these people disappearing left and right on Without A Trace (CBS, 10 PM)? It's like that one sock that always escapes in the dryer. Hey there's an idea!

Dear Anthony La Paglia,

Please help me find my missing socks.

Love,
The World