Today on Orca -- er, Oprah (CBS, 4 PM) we're treated to part two of Lisa Ling's investigative report on a Texas Polygamous sect! Perhaps she'll reveal why they insist on dressing like they're on Little House On The Prairie?

Break out the champagne and coke! The America's Next Top Model (CW, 8 PM) finale is tonight and the SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME. All I know is that if that betch of a betch Fatima wins I will plotz in a major way. Ditto Anya, but less so. I'm rooting for you, Fat-Ass!

On Top Chef (Bravo, 10 PM) the toques try to convert fatty feasts into heart-healthy fare. Is it hot in here or is it just Spike? Oh wait, it's my broiler. Silly me!

Scandal! News broke this week that Lil' Archuleta's dad was banned from American Idol (Fox, 9 PM) rehearsals for acting generally cray-cray. If that's all it takes to get banned, I wonder what Paula's doing still hanging around? Tune in for the final three and the requisite nutso banter from Abdrool.

As someone who plots her every move based on proximity and access to pizza, I appreciate the fact that the Travel Channel's Food Paradise series will be focusing on Pizza Paradises (Travel Channel, 7 PM) tonight. Believe you me, I will be taking detailed notes for my next Pizza Vacation.

Law & Order's (NBC, 10 PM) Dennis Farina, aka Detective Fontana got busted trying to bring a loaded gun aboard a plane at LAX last week. Perhaps he's getting a little too Method for his own good. This week, Lupo, McCoy look foxy whilst trying to unravel a web of internet intrigue.