Memorial Day announced the official kick-off to BBQ season, and not a moment too goddamned soon. What other seasonal tradition makes charring meats, drinking beer and reclining out-of-doors seem like an active endeavor? For a socio-scientific investigation of the time-honored rite that is 'cue, peep this special edition of Good Eats (Food Network, 8 PM) and marvel at Alton Brown's appealing dorkitude.

A brand new season of So You Think You Can Dance (FOX, 8 PM) gets underway tonight with a dizzying two-hour episode devoted to the cross-country audition process. While we're here I'd like to take this opportunity to tell Cat Deeley and everyone else involved that I don't THINK I can dance. I KNOW IT. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, dicks.

In a world gone mad, prim nouveau-Poppins and titular Supernanny (ABC, 9 PM) Jo Frost need only arch an eyebrow and say something cutting in her fancy British accent to restore order and bring about peace on earth. Tonight she conquers another household in chaos. From what we saw on Monday night, I think Chez Lohan ought to be her next stop.

There's nothing like spending quality time with a man-crazed Anne Heche in Alaska when you could be drinking Mai Tai's outside on your patio/stoop/fire escape. I say this with not a hint of sarcasm. Men In Trees (ABC, 10 PM) is just that fucking good.

FAAAACK! It's the Top Chef (Bravo, 10 PM) final four! Every single episode from here on out is a must-watch. On tonight's show, the remaining hopefuls butcher and serve large slabs of beef and I will Lisa to go the fack home already. Right?

If you feel your Scott Baio knowledge is deficient, you might want to catch Biography: Scott Baio (Biography, 10 PM) tonight. If you'd rather use that hour to, say, give yourself a frontal lobotomy, I'll sum it up for you: He starred in Charles In Charge and boned Pamela Anderson. You're welcome.