If there's anyone who can make effluvia sexy it is Mike Rowe. Ew, I just said effluvia. Seriously though, how anyone can look shaggable covered in muck and detritus is beyond me. Which is why reaching the 100th episode of Dirty Jobs (Discovery, Saturday 11 AM) is such an achievement. Hey Mike, I've got dirty job No. 101 for ya right here.

For a dude who once stood trial for murder, is open about his drug use and doesn't hide his former affiliation with the Crips gang, Snoop Dogg isn't such a bad dad. Plus his wife rules. She's sassy! Get your fill of the Brodus brood watching a Snoop Dogg: Father Hood marathon (E,! Saturday 2 PM). You have my (and Snoop's) permish to smoke a spliff whilst doing so.

Everything you ever wanted to know but were (rightly) afraid to ask about seminal hair metal band Ratt will be revealed to you in Behind the Music: Ratt(VH1, Saturday 9 PM). It's going to be a classy affair, so make sure you wear your nicest stone-washed jeans

I admit I haven't been religious about watching the reality show 30 Days (F/X, Saturday 11 PM) that Super-Size Me It-boy Morgan Spurlock spawned, but now's as good a time as any to get into it. Plus this seems to be the type of faux-thought-provoking, educational-ish program that successfully assuages my guilt at being planted in front of the tube for hours on end, and that's always a good thing if you ask me.

I am a born and bred Hoosier, so the Indy 500 (ABC, Sunday 12 PM) is sort of required viewing, even if all it is is hours and hours and hours and hours of cars going in circles. Then again, it's also an excuse to gamble and drink too much, so that's a plus. Warning: you might want to swallow some Dramamine for this puppy if you're prone to motion sickness.

How much D'Onofrio and Noth can you take? The correct answer is: How much you got? I personally can never get enough of the swarthy and increasingly puffy Detectives Logan and Goren. Which is why I will be camped out on my couch all night for the Law & Order: CI marathon (Bravo, Sunday 6 PM), much to my roommates' chagrin.