Kirk Cameron (TBN, 7 PM) found Jesus and now he wants to spread the word via a special on Trinity Broadcasting Network. If you are into Eighties nostalgia, need saving or want a good laugh, tune in.

Ogle Patrick Swayze at the pinnacle of his fame: Dirty Dancing (SHOW2, 6:30) is on tonight, reminding you that nobody puts baby in the corner.

Bald pates as far as the eye can see and Cammy D in a mousy brown wig? Hells yeah! Spike Jonze' meta opus Being John Malkovich (SHOWCSE, 6 PM) is on.

I'm convinced that cable is conspiring to creep me the fuck out. First SciFi's Ghost Hunters and now Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal (A&E, 10 PM). Real nice, guys. And I just started sleeping with the lights off too!

The premiere of Jo & Slade: The Break Up, in which former lovahs try to set each other up with new partners, airs tonight. Exes who remain friends mystify me, and ones who take an active interest in each others' love lives are extra-WTF in my book. But perhaps I'm just not evolved enough to handle the scandal.

Wow. The History Channel is devoting two full hours to an in-depth, full scale investigation of poop in All About Dung (History, 9 PM). I swear to you I am not even making this up. I would not lie about such things.