Hey Animal Planet, guess what! I liked Dolphin Murder Mystery (Animal Planet, 7 PM) better the first time I saw it -- when it was called Ace Ventura! Hey-O!

Access Granted: Pretty Ricky (BET, 8 PM) premieres tonight, and I don't know about you ladies, but from what I hear it's pretty easy to be granted access to those boys. I hear they "grant access" to almost every girl they meet, if I'm not being too subtle. Access-grantoholics, you might call them! Alright, they're man-whores.

Every week I ask if Farmer Wants a Wife (CW, 9 PM) will ever end, and every week it returns with a new episode. It's like the damn presidential race.

Celebrity Circus (NBC, 9:30 PM) will do its best to pepper the latest Now! That's What I Call Music! CD with a few midget jokes for the second week tonight.

The Top Chef Reunion (Bravo, 10 PM) ought to be good, Lisa-haters!

And finally, there's a brand new show called OMG! Sextuplets (WE, 10 PM) on tonight, and I swear I'm not making that up.