Flip That House (TLC, Saturday 8 PM) is one of those shows I don't have to watch anymore because I don't live with my mother.

Actual quote from the one episode of Groomer Has It (AP, Saturday 9 PM) I have seen: "I just don't understand that poodle's cheerleader skirt!" - Melissa Rivers. It's pretty representative of everything that goes on on the show.

You guys! There's a Girl with Eight Limbs (NGC, Sunday 9 PM) on the TV! Yes!

I Can't Believe I'm Still Single: From Portland to Portland (Showtime, Sunday 11:30 PM) is on tonight, and I gotta tell you, incredulous protagonist - Portland and Portland are the same thing. I can't believe you started in Portland, went to Portland, thought it was a different place and couldn't believe no one wanted to date you.

There's a new episode of Denise Richards: It's Complicated (E! Sunday 10 PM). Yeah, that thing's still on.

So's that Lohan (Living Lohan, E!, Sunday 10:30 PM) one.