The Discovery Health Channel has tellingly scheduled Babies: Special Delivery (DHC, 5 PM) to air immediately after Trauma: Life in the ER (DHC, 4 PM). Could be a coincidence. Or could be there's some sort of subliminal campaign to scare girls like me out of ever having a baby. Mission accomplished dudes!

Lakshmi, the little Indian girl with eight limbs, is fascinating and adorable and the subject of an hour long special called, surprisingly, The Girl With Eight Limbs (4 PM, NGC). Cute-ant!

Want to be disturbed and depressed for days? Watch the excellent, if incredibly bleak Mystic River (AMC, 8 PM) and doubt your faith in humanity.

Whoever came up with the idea for the reality show High School Musical: Get In the Picture (ABC, 8 PM) must be making a concerted effort to drive me slowly insane.

Celebrity Schadenfreude alert! E!'s special 30 Best and Worst Beach Bodies (E!, 8 PM) reveals that stars are, in fact, just like us in that they too have cellulite. The difference is, they also have more money than any of us could ever dream of, which sort of mitigates the whole cellulite thing if you ask me.

I have a total girl crush on Kyra Sedgwick, which makes the prospect of watching a new episode of The Closer (TNT, 9 PM) even more palatable than if I only watched it because it kicks ass.