Hahahahahah! Those kooks at Discovery Health! They've named a show X-Weighted (DHC, 12 PM), as, like, you know, a play on X-rated. See how they did that? Clever! Now me personally, I like to keep my porn and my dieting separate, but I've never been awesome at multi-tasking.

Ever have one of those days where you just want to stay home and watch eight hours of Living Single (Oxygen, 10 AM) in an effort to indulge your sad-sack Cathy tendencies? Yeah, me neither.

Were you aware that the dudes from that radio show Car Talk have an animated series on PBS? Now you are. On tonight's episode of Click and Clack's As The Wrench Turns (PBS, 8 PM), the titular dudes decide to run for president and sock away campaign money for their radio station. Sounds plausible.

I have fond memories of a game show of yore called Finders Keepers that aired on Nickelodeon in the late Eighties and entailed kids rummaging through set-designed messy rooms in order to find items and win some shit. The two-hour, Niecy Nash-hosted Clean House: The Messiest Home in the Country (Style, 6 PM) is probably less fun than that, but it's the same idea.

E.T. (WGNSAT, 8 PM) is the first movie I ever saw in theaters, and I wept wept wept when that poor alien fucker got all sick and had to go home. Some things never change.

I have not yet had the privilege of watching Celebrity Circus (NBC, 10 PM), but I have a thing for midgets (don't ask), so perhaps tonight's the night!