The title for tonight's episode of Deadliest Catch (Discovery, 4 PM) is "On the Crab," which brings to mind a number of unpleasant things.

Let's go back to a more innocent time, before we got wise to what a raging freak Mel Gibson really is. Follow your bliss with Mad Max (ENCR5, 4:35 PM)

For a pretentious indie movie, The Safety of Objects (IFC, 6:30 PM) is pretty tolerable. Not to mention Pacey's in it!

Hours upon hours of Janice Dickinson -- hilarious bitchfest or inducement to disembowelment? You be the judge! The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency (Oxygen, 10 AM) is having an eight hour marathon. Gird your loins.

I still can't understand how Baby Borrowers (NBC, 9 PM) is allowed by the laws of God or man.

As a prelude to the premiere of the new VH1 reality show/harbinger of the apocalypse I Love Money, we get this hour-long special I Love Money: Meet The Allstars (VH1, 7 PM), in which we get to see who will be competing to for a chance to illustrate what depths of humiliation and human depravity a person will plumb for fame and cash. Fun for the whole family!