The greatest American film of all-time and all-future, Die Hard (A&E, Saturday, 8 PM), is airing on A&E all edited to hell, for anyone afraid of swear words or joy.

What better way to greet your weekend than with a Snapped (Oxygen, Saturday, 10:30 AM) marathon?

Million Dollar Password (CBS, Sunday, 8 PM) seems pretty harmless in light of these new-fangled game shows (I'm looking at you, Moment of Truth). Why not give it a whirl?

God I love House Hunters International (HGTV, Sunday, 8:30). This week, some ambitious lad is going to try to move to Costa Rica! Think of all the mosquitoes!

At long last, I Love Money (VH1, Sunday, 9 PM) finally premieres! Alert the CDC!

Speaking of HGTV, does it seem really un-HGTV of HGTV to name a show Property Virgins (HGTV, Sunday, 10:30 PM) to anyone else?