Chuck you, chuckers! Chuck (NBC, 8 PM) returns tonight! Yes, that was the best I could do.

Penny got killed off last week on Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles (Fox, 8 PM) because she had to go back to that Lost show, which means only one thing: it's time for The Beeper King and Sarah Connor to get! It! On! Poor David Silver still can't get no play.

I don't watch The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 PM) because I can't understand science, but if Johnny Galecki starts saying "Mrs. Connerrrrrr" to annoy Sara Gilbert every week I'm going to rethink everything.

Oh pleeeeeeeeease, Serena. Blair Waldorf is so going to shoot you in your dead-eyed, expressionless face one of these days, ya amateur. Gossip Girl (CW, 8 PM)

You know it's a bad sign when we're only on week two and I've already run out of How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8:30 PM) jokes. This is going to be a long season for me.

Is there anyone Angela Petrelli didn't give birth to on this planet? I bet you all the money in my pockets (4 cents) we find out she's George Takei's mom in Heroes (NBC, 9 PM) Season 4.