The Bones (Fox, 8 PM) gang visits foggy London-town in tonight's season premiere. They don't put ice in their soda there. Murder!

America's Next Top Model (CW, 8 PM) returns tonight with new drama, people who may or may not be able to smile with their eyes despite literally minutes of instruction on how to do so, Tyra's best wigs, and one bonus trannie!

Diane Von Furstenburg shows up to guest judge on Project Runway (Bravo, 9 PM) tonight, and all the designers look like they're going to throw up. Never have a panic attack with a seam ripper in your hands, children.

The creator of The Shield attempts to turn Katey Sagal into a badass biker bitch on Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10 PM) tonight, and it doesn't work out as well as one would think, surprisingly. I do promise you that it's worth tuning in for The X-Files' Agent Skinner as a pretty damn convincing Nazi biker meth kingpin. It makes that time he accidentally killed a hooker look like a minor whoops-a-daisy by comparison.

Top Design (Bravo, 10 PM) Season 2 is allegedly not nearly as sucky as Top Design Season 1. I'll believe that when I see it.

I will be watching the Republican National Convention (All Networks, 10 PM) tonight solely in hopes that Sarah Palin does something else straight out of a soap opera. You know McCain's campaign manager is totally kicking himself for forgetting to ask the standard "If we pick you, people aren't going to say you pretended to gestate your teen daughter's Down Syndrome baby so people wouldn't question your ludicrous abstinence-only policy, or anything, are they?" question before asking her to run.