A four-hour block of Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel, 5 PM) you say??? As Mae West once said, too much of a good thing can make you spontaneously combust. Or something like that.

I'm tempted to forgo watching my usual Monday night brain drain Gossip Girl (The CW, 8 PM) this week, as I've discovered the main thrust of the action will focus on Jenny Humphrey, whom I find boring and pointless. Oh who am I kidding? I'd watch that show even if it starred Mr. Potato Head!

Kick off your Halloween week with a viewing of the gruesome camp that is the Tarantino/Rodriguez double feature Grindhouse (Encore, 8 PM).

Samantha Who (ABC, 9 PM) reminds me of that time I went on a 3-day bender and forgot where I lived. Just kidding!

Does anyone actually watch One Tree Hill (The CW, 9 PM)?

From the Dr. 90210 (E!, 10 PM) promos, it looks like Dr. Rey and his really-ugly-for-a-trophy-wife wife are headed for splitsville. But that's probably too much to hope for, isn't it?