I might have to watch The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep (Starz, 6:20 PM) because that thing looks just like my cat Bitsy Boo! Yes, I'm a crazy cat lady. What of it?

If you believe that the skits on SNL are the word of God, as I do, you'll know that this Barack Obama Political Message (All major networks except for ABC, 8 PM) is actually a fun, tune-filled variety show that will feature Bill Clinton singing Simple Minds.

The models are going to Amsterdam on ANTM (The CW, 8 PM) tonight. I bet you they get all stoned and go get some prostitutes! Those crazy kids!

If you insist on watching Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (AMC, 8 PM), rest assured I'll be somewhere covering my eyes and going "la la la la la la la" until you switch channels.

Part one of the Top Design (Bravo, 10 PM) finale is on tonight. Why do they have parts to a finale? Isn't the finale just the last episode? I smell a cheap marketing ploy!

Perhaps you're one of the seven people left in the world who haven't seen pictures of Sarah Palin as the runner-up in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant, and will therefore find Biography: Sarah Palin (Biography, 11 PM) interesting and/or informative.