Crusoe (Saturday, NBC, 8 PM) has new episodes still? It must be doing well. That's what that means, right?

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (Saturday, AMC, 8 PM) is the reason that tunnels scare me to death.

With Dancing with Dogs (Saturday, Animal Planet, 9 PM), the reality dance-show craze has officially gone too far.

I honestly haven't had any idea what was going on in Desperate Housewives (Sunday, ABC, 9 PM) for about two years.

I feel like Dexter (Sunday, Showtime, 9 PM) will somehow avoid the clichés usually associated with men preparing for marriage. Usually guys lament giving up dating and other women, Dexter's probably more concerned with how marriage will cut into his murdering time.

Ruby (Sunday, E! Style, 9 PM) travels to L.A. this week. I'm sure nothing motivates a person on a diet more than traveling to a city which runs entirely on plastic surgery.