BLOGS
February 2009 Archives
Ahhh, the Grammys... the mother of all superfluous award shows in a season filled to bursting with superfluous award shows. A shit show in the most literal sense. Strap yourself in, folks -- it's gonna be another 3-plus hours of megalomaniacal celebrities waxing narcissistic about their impact on the universe. (I'm looking at you, Kanye "Red in a Gray World" West.)
Here's what's new and notable in the coming week.
Sunday, February 8
The drama continues for America's favorite polygamous family on Big Love (HBO, 9PM) as Roman's trial commences. That tricky Mann Act will get you every time.
NBC's alarming penchant for Sunday night mini-series continues with the Part One premiere of XIII (NBC, 9PM). Stephen Dorff plays an elite assassin with a wicked neck tattoo (guess what it says!) who turns up sans memory or identity in a forest... three months after the sniper killing of the first female president. D'oh! Val Kilmer co-stars, in case you missed him in voicing KITT in Knight Rider. Which you probably did.
Monday, February 9
Christine Baranski guest stars as Leonard's mom on The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8PM) and as usually happens after a humiliating parental visit, the crippling embarrassment brings Leonard closer to his dream girl Penny. Wait, isn't that the opposite of what usually happens?
Frances Conroy takes her turn as Loretta Stinson, the glorious creature who - wait for it - sent God's gift to women shooting out of her loins some thirty years ago. That's right, Barney's mom is coming to How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8:30PM). Awesome.
Tuesday, February 10
It's The Biggest Loser's (NBC, 8PM) 100th episode! Now if we added up all the weight lost by each contestant in each episode during each season... oh my God, why is this country so fat?
Relieved by the death of Liz and Christian's ludicrous and vaguely incestuous I'm-a-lesbian-no-I'm-not-oh-what-the-hell-yes-I-am affair? How do I say this...YES!!!!!!! Now we can (hopefully) give up the ongoing battle with our gag reflexes as Battlestar Galactica's Katee Sackhoff steps in as McNamara/Troy's new anesthesiologist on this week's Nip/Tuck (FX, 10PM). Bonus: Bradley Cooper returns (with Morgan Fairchild in tow) as Aidan Stone, desperate to star in a biopic about Sean's life. I'm glad that movie will never be real.
Wednesday, February 11
Finally, American Idol (FOX, 8PM) will reveal to us the thirty-six most talented singers in this great country -- and it will only take two hours! Let's hope the ratio of dream-crushing to... hmm, I really don't know how else to describe the other stuff that happens on this show... well, let's call it whatever will remain high. Even though we know it won't.
On Top Chef (Bravo, 10PM), tune in to see whether it's Carla or Fabio who is unfairly pushed out so that Leah and Hosea can continue their indescribably annoying fake romance at the Finale!
Thursday, February 12
In case you were experiencing symptoms of tribal infighting withdrawal, Survivor: Tocantins - The Brazilian Highlands (CBS, 8PM) returns this week. After all, it's only been -- wait, two months? -- since Gabon finished. Hopefully this season will be less painful than that other Brazilian import, the wax.
Part 2 of Season 3 of Making the Band 4 (MTV, 9PM) premieres this week. But Danity Kane broke up two weeks ago, you say? Surely that couldn't have been a devious promotion for this show's return...
Okay ABC, we know you're sorry that you took Addison away from Seattle Grace. But do you really have to make amends with a special Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice (ABC, 9PM) two-hour crossover special? Oh well, maybe Derek and Meredith will finally reach the blessed end of their rollercoaster ride of hate-love when he proposes... kidding!
Patti Stanger returns as Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo, 10PM)! Thank God, TV was really lacking in wealthy men who lust uncomfortably after women who are way too young for them. But don't worry, this season brings the gift of a female millionaire to even the score for left-out single ladies everywhere!
Friday, February 13
Cameron and the Connors return from their winter break this week in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX, 8PM). Is it possible to express how much we love Summer Glau? But thinking about her over-too-soon role in Firefly only reminds us that...
JOSS WHEDON IS BACK! WITH ELIZA DUSHKU! That's right, vengeful Firefly fans will finally get their night when Dollhouse (FOX, 9PM) premieres. Finally there is a place on television for Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku's particular brand of awesome. Reunited and it feels so damn good.
An abandoned camp with a dark past...yes, that's the setting of Friday the 13th and also this week's episode of Psych (USA, 10PM). Which airs on Friday the 13th. Mind boggled by the coincidence yet? Plus, the always lovely Justine Bateman guests as Lassiter's estranged wife.
Numbers is not must-see TV for me. In fact, while I do enjoy it, it's the kind of show that sort of collects in my DVR and I usually watch a couple while I'm checking email or something like that. It is sort of like my soap opera... in a weird way. I love to know what is going on with the brothers Epps, but I am not going to spend two hours online afterwards trying to figure out the hidden meaning behind the equations in this episode. It's no Lost, but I give it credit for making me actually interested in math. Though, to be totally honest, I've got a crush on David Krumholtz and his moptop of hair, and that's my main reason for watching. Which doesn't have a lot to do with learning more about cosine.
He's handsome, he smells like frosting, he's Don Draper, and he's Lemon's new neighbor! That's right, fangirls and gays, Jon Hamm's 30 Rock guest stint starts tonight! It's all very exciting, but while watching Jon Hamm and Liz Lemon fall in temporary like will surely make for a fantastic episode, Salma Hayek's also back for some ungodly reason, and she signed on for six of these, so we're only just past the halfway mark here. What can I say? What Tina giveth, she also maketh us suffer through Salma Hayek for six episodes. Oh, well. Good thing it's not helping the ratings at all!
How influential is the breakaway smash hit The Mentalist? So influential that it influenced shows that were on TV before it even aired! Last season, Life introduced us to Charlie Crews (Damien Lewis), an L.A. homicide detective returning to the force after serving 12 years in jail for a murder he didn't commit. Quirky, extraordinarily observant, familiar with being on the other side of the law, and teamed with a cranky female partner (sound familiar?) he applied his zen outlook to solving the bizarre cases he was faced with on a daily basis, and eventually caught the guy who did the murder he was blamed for in his spare time. That would probably have been a good way to wrap up a series -- imagine if Patrick Jane caught Red John and avenged his murdered wife and daughter on The Mentalist -- but Crews discovered a conspiracy, and has so far spent Season 2 trying to figure out who wanted to frame him (and solving murders, of course). How's that going? Well, in the last episode before the hiatus, Crews got shot in the chest.
There was soooo much buzz around the 90210 reboot that it took a few episodes before people realized how mediocre the show actually was. Teen sex, drugs, pregnancy, divorce, adoption and porn are just as relevant today as they were when the original show aired, but a combination of insipid plots and crap acting by the core cast has made this revamped 90210 something of a disappointment. The one thing it has to recommend itself is a handful of familiar faces -- stars we know and love from elsewhere (Tristan Wilds from The Wire, Jessica Walters from Arrested Development, Annalyne McCord from Nip/Tuck and of course Shannen Doherty reprising her role as Brenda Walsh), who also happen to be the show's most engaging actors. 
In case you missed the billion commercials during the Super Bowl, Chuck is airing a new episode tonight. And in 3-D no less. Which means that you've got to drag out those stupid glasses, or else you are going to get a headache trying to watch the fuzzy scenes. However, I've got my stupid glasses ready, because I love this show, but also because my very favorite little hobbit is guest starring.
Dominic Monaghan is playing Tyler Martin, which seems to be sort of a version of his DriveShaft alter ego Charlie from Lost, which is just about the most awesome thing ever. He doesn't appear to be singing "You All Everybody," but still, he's dressed in full rocker regalia, complete with a healthy dose of eyeliner. Seriously, I'm squealing in anticipation.
I took a little bit of a beating on Friday for saying nobody cares about the Pittsburgh Steelers (I said it about the Arizona Cardinals too, but no one seemed to mind that for some reason) so I'm going to take this opportunity to take it all back and admit that it was just the bitter Giants fan in me talking. Because when your quarterback essentially forgets how to throw a football in the middle of the playoffs, you lash out at the people whose quarterbacks didn't. So yeah -- Pittsburgh 4Eva! Or Arizona. That Kurt Warner sure is great. 
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