Sunday, March 22
Season 3 of Big Love (HBO, 9 PM) ends tonight -- and it's not because of complaints from the Mormon community about the depiction of a sacred and private ceremony! Don't get excited. It's just ending. Anyway, we'll finally find out Bill's plans to get rid of Roman once and for all (mwah ha ha) AND to solve his casino problems.

So as you may or may not be aware, Nicolette Sheridan is leaving Desperate Housewives (ABC, 9 PM). Which means Edie is not long for the show -- and according to the description from ABC, this week her "worst fears come true." Bingo!
Curious about how Edie will make her departure? Check out our predictions on How Creepy Dave Will Do It!

I'm not even sure where to begin. If you watch this show, then you know that tonight is the two-part series finale. Series. Finale. It seems weird to say that. My brain comprehends that this is the end of the show, and I'm happy that it gets to end on its own terms, but I'm still a little bit in denial emotionally. If you aren't a fan... then someday you might come to your senses and see the light. But I've done my share of trying to convince people that it is worth watching over the last four seasons. Now I am just going to focus on enjoying the last two hours (sadly I wasn't lucky enough to see them earlier this week like some other press folks), and hoping, praying that they are satisfying for not only myself, but for all of the other devotees. Last week's episode bodes well for these final two hours. I especially enjoyed what they did with the flashbacks to life on Caprica -- a glimpse into happier times (for some... like Sam) or equally miserable times (like Laura). But it is a small sample of their everydayness before they were trapped in space, searching for earth... which ended up being nothing. It's a peek into lives that have changed so dramatically, worlds that don't even exist anymore, people that don't necessarily exist anymore. It's a bizarre little time capsule. I hope we get more of it tonight.

So there's this little show that's on tonight that we think you should watch. It's kind of an under-the-radar thing, called The Office, and-- ...Oh, you've heard of it? Then you know that it's pretty damn fun -- ...Yes, that's true, some people say it's not as funny as it used to be, and -- ...Well, I guess you could argue that the characters have turned into caricatures, but that seems like just a one-syllable difference, to me, and it's still a damn funny show. And it'll only get funnier tonight, when legendary funnyman Idris Elba shows up to deliver his own brand of hilarity and turns -- ...No? He's from what? The Wire? Is that a British comedy?

I wrote about my obsessive adoration for this show over the holidays, but it seems like more and more people are just discovering this show (at least in my circle of friends). Which makes me feel better, since I watch so many cable shows that no one else does, and I'm always lacking for people to discuss them with. Anyway, I've been watching enthusiastic eater Adam Richman chow down on some of the most tasty, if not the most calorie-conscious, treats that America has to offer. He's such a charming guy that you just kind of want to hang out with him as he pigs out. You want to cheer him on as he tries to down the equivalent of a gallon of ice cream in milkshake form. You can't help but feel sorry for him when he doesn't achieve his mission. Though the episode where he only had two bites left of the omelet and couldn't do it... that had me shouting at the TV. Two. Bites. A normal person would not be able to even get that far, but I've come to expect more from him. He's eaten some of the most atomically hot food known to man and can scarf down steaks that are bigger than my head. Anyone who can consume a dozen plates of oysters should be able to scarf down two more bites of an omelet... no matter what the size. Irrational, I know. But it doesn't diminish my love of this show.

Newlyweds Josh and Anna have packed up her perm and moved into a home of their own, where Anna will be cooking dinner for all of the Duggars tonight, hopefully not all by herself because what is she? An army short order? (No idea if that's even a thing.) So yeah, it's no meeting Kirk Cameron or anything, but it should be a pretty solid episode.

In case you haven't been following my endless blogging about the subject, I love Castle. I love the premise, the performances, the pacing... I love everything about it. I'm not saying it's the greatest TV show ever (I'm looking at you, Airwolf), but it's certainly one of the most fun, if discovering dead bodies is your idea of a good time. I mean, I'm no ghoul, but I love Crime Show (my friend's over-arching name for whatever police procedural is on at any given moment), and Nathan Fillion makes corpses and the stabbing stabbers who kill them seem like a hoot and a holler. ...Did I mention I've only seen two episodes?

I don't envy the uphill battle that this show faces. It is a midseason replacement on a network and it is stuck in the dreaded "family hour" of 8 PM on Sunday nights. This is a slowly paced, but aesthetically beautiful and well-written heavy drama that is filled with war, violence and corruption. It's the kind of fare you'd expect to see on a cable network, or at 10 PM. Instead, Sunday at 8 PM it sits. Leading off a night filled with Celebrity Apprentice. It's a pairing that makes no sense, and the only thing the two series have in common is a boardroom. So I'm trying to brace myself in case this show gets cancelled after the first season, because after watching the first four episodes I'm totally hooked. I worry that people won't get through the sluggish first hour, and will tune out and the vision of this show won't ever get realized. Because this show becomes more engaging as it goes along. Truly a series that gets better as the plots start twisting and turning. Getting people to tune into this modern day telling of David and Goliath is a feat that even David might not have been able to overcome. Sometimes the giant wins, and for Kings the fickle viewing audience and a tough time slot are its worst enemy.

Sunday, March 15
Know how all the classy TV shows are on Sunday night? Now there's another one: Kings (NBC, 8pm), an ambitious new drama based on the King David story about an alternate reality in which the modern world is divided into nation-states ruled by divinely chosen kings. Whew, that was a mouthful... which is kind of why we feel this undoubtedly complicated thing would make more sense on cable, at the very least, where it can curse and use dark subject matter to explore profound themes in good company. Oh well, props to NBC for trying something new. And yes the premiere will be two hours... but don't worry, not even a drama premiere of this weight can preempt The Celebrity Apprentice -- it has merely been bumped to 10PM.

Hey ladies, finally feeling empowered about your search for love? VH1 Tough Love (VH1, 10pm) is here to kick all that to shit! In the first episode, some guy purporting to be a professional matchmaker will destroy the self-esteem of eight women by forcing them to find out "what men really think!" of their appearances as the first of many lessons in, apparently, changing yourself to become more appealing to the opposite sex. Wait a second, Drew Barrymore created this thing? What about everything she taught me about staying true to myself in Never Been Kissed and The Wedding Singer? I just don't know what to feel.

It's that time of year again, when people who ordinarily seem relatively sane turn into obsessed basketball freaks and start screaming about colleges -- many of which you've never even heard of -- and filling up their Facebook statuses with things like "Duke was totally robbed" and "That ref totally made the wrong call" or "LET'S GO NOVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (I literally copied that last one, including the all upper cases, from a FB friend just two minutes ago). I don't even know who or what a Nova is. But fine. Go them! Anyway, if you, like me, can't deal with the insanity and the brackets, and your favorite shows getting all preempted here are our recommendations of things you might want to watch instead.

Okay, so Wife Swap is a show that is most often (by me, anyway) half-watched in marathons on Lifetime. But tonight marks the 100th episode of TV's most uncomfortable staged social experiment (well except for Black.White. -- but hey, we live in a post-racial world now, right? No need for that to ever come back!), and with it return two "fan favorite" families. Curious about what sorts of people this show's viewers deemed so compelling that they had to return for a bonus round? Read on...