If you didn't believe me a few weeks ago when I babbled on for a while about how ER was really enjoyable in its final season, you've got no excuse but to check it out now. Everything old is new again and its got all kinds of emotions and whatnot. With people you might recognize even (lots of 'em... coughClooneycough).

While I love the South Park movie, I have to admit that I haven't watched the actual TV show in a loooong time. So I was surprised to see that tonight's episode, the 13th season premiere, is about Kenny getting a new girlfriend. Because the last thing I remember was Kenny getting killed for good in Season 5, and eventually being replaced by Butters. Imagine my surprise when I did a little bit of research and found out that Kenny came back the following season and has been around ever since, and that they hardly do the "Oh my God, they killed Kenny" joke anymore, although he does still die occasionally. Boy, do I feel out of it.

So after last week's big surprise twist that got cut off everyone's DVRs, the show is back for another three hours this week with the Top 13. Which is exciting, only because I personally like Anoop. But disconcerting because I've spent altogether too much time wondering just how long the producers/judges have been manipulating us, and when exactly they concocted this whole Top 13 scheme. My guess is probably about the time they decided not to do Idol Gives Back and realized they needed an extra week of content. Which annoys me. But anyway, that's water under the bridge, because tonight we get the Top 13 for the first time and we can get down to the actual business of voting for the next American Idol.

It's back. Again. Seems like it never went away. Now with more celebrities you've never heard of, or haven't heard of in at least 15 years. And the ones you have heard of have gotten injured and had to pull out at the last minute. So they are subbing in more reality stars. Jewel and Nancy O'Dell both announced that they'd be leaving the show. While Holly Madison (a former Hefner gal from The Girls Next Door) is all but confirmed to replace Jewel, there is still speculation about O'Dell's replacement, but all signs seem to be pointing to Bachelor jiltee Melissa. Way to capitalize on the buzz of that trainwreck, ABC.

We've already gone through the cast to figure out who stands a shot at winning, and you know, given you a refresher on who the hell these people are. Mostly I'm just excited to see some new pro dancers, Dmitry and Chelsie from So You Think You Can Dance (not to worry, non-SYTYCD peeps, these ballroom stars aren't as rebellious as Lacey). I'm also curious to watch the freak show that is Steve-O. I doubt he can dance... but he'll sure give us something to watch. Oh, and do the producers hate Karina? Ever since Mario Lopez, they've stuck her with some real winners: Billy Ray Cyrus, Floyd Mayweather, Mario (the singer, not the Lopez variety), Rocco DiSpirito and now Steve Wozniak? Just curious.

So this disaster in the making starts tonight. If you want to fill your brain with something else, check out our week in preview for other options.

Bryan Cranston can kind of do no wrong in my book, even when he's playing a drug dealer. Actually, especially when he's playing a drug dealer with a good reason. This AMC show doesn't get the kind of attention that Mad Men gets, but it is a solid series, with Cranston playing the role of his life as a chemistry teacher with terminal lung cancer desperate to provide for his wife and kids before he dies. If you missed it the first season, I've put the fabulous series in a minute video below. Everyone has a minute, right? It's just a little taste. That way you'll know if you like it or not. God, do I sound like a pusher? Wait, am I a pusher? I always knew I was a TV junkie, but this might be taking things to a whole new level. I do get paid to talk about TV... hmm... My parents will be so proud.

Sunday, March 8
The L Word (Showtime, 9 PM) airs its final episode ever after a one-hour finale special at 8 PM. After six seasons of the groundbreaking series, is television a friendlier place for the LGBT community? Hmm... let me see... well, Callie's bicurious on Grey's Anatomy, now. That's gotta count for something, I guess.

Get out your Erlenmyer flasks and desperation-induced disregard for law enforcement, everyone! Breaking Bad (AMC, 10 PM) is back for its second season, and with the terminally ill Walt still in need of mucho cash to provide for his family, the meth-dealing antics are certain to be running high. High. Get it? Fine, that was lame -- but know what's not lame? Emmy winner Bryan Cranston. So watch this show.

Oh, you thought the Clone Wars were over? Just because Anakin Skywalker killed off a bunch of alien dudes at the end of Revenge of the Sith, and Obi-Wan Kenobi cut off his legs? It's not over! It's just getting started, man! Even though you know how it all ends, because you saw the last movie where the clone troopers shot all the Jedi, there's all this stuff that happened between the fifth and sixth -- I mean, second and third Star Wars movies that you didn't even see! Luckily, George Lucas has created a cartoon series (and toy line, and video game) inspired by old movie serials to tell the tale, and practically every other episode spotlights a different alien race, which is like pornography for Star Wars fans. Some of the aliens are new, but some are old favorites, like tonight's guest stars... the Twi'lek of Ryloth!

The second most awesome reality-dance competition (after So You Think You Can Dance) is polishing off its third season tonight. If you've missed this season so far, you've missed some stepping, clogging and shoulder popping moves. Yeah, clogging. There was a team of cloggers this season and they were so effervescently awesome and ill-suited for this show that I was secretly hoping they'd win. Just like the roller-skating team of the prior season. I love the oddballs.

It's time for yet another cycle of my favorite beautiful-people-getting-dressed-down-by-Tyra-Banks shitshow, America's Next Top Model (ANTM if you're nasty). Sadly there will be no transgender aspiring models this season, which is almost enough to make me lay down an embargo -- give me trannies or give me death! But not quite. This season cycle, to make up for the lack of former dudes, there will be a burn victim, an epileptic (not dog), a chick who used to date Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and a weirdo who claims to be obsessed with hemophila. Which according to my must-watch algorithm, is the equivalent of maybe a quarter of Isis's long, lithe pinky toe.

This show is back, and while in some ways it is a good thing, in other ways I'm dreading it. Last season was so hit or miss that I'm bracing myself for this one. Don't get me wrong. I like this show. I do. But sometimes it makes it really, really hard. But if I'm trying to be positive, I'm pretty psyched that I get to see Ray Wise on a weekly basis again. He's amazing and so perfectly cast as the devil. I saw him on an episode of Numb3rs recently, trying to be all evil, but here he really gets to stretch his wicked sense of humor and put his well-timed delivery to good use. Plus, that grin. Then there's Tyler Labine, who makes a wonderful slacker... Those two are the highlight of this show for me. Oh, and Gladys the DMV lady. She rocks my world. The whole Sam (Bret Harrison) and Andi (Missy Peregrym) on-again, off-again dating situation I could live without. Honestly, if Sam just had a different girl to pine over or an actual girlfriend, I'd probably like him a hell of a lot more. Anyway, I digress. Here's to a new season of Sam recapturing escaped souls from hell and sending them back where they belong so he doesn't break his contract with Satan. Simple enough.