BLOGS

Friday, March 6, 2009: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Oh, you thought the Clone Wars were over? Just because Anakin Skywalker killed off a bunch of alien dudes at the end of Revenge of the Sith, and Obi-Wan Kenobi cut off his legs? It's not over! It's just getting started, man! Even though you know how it all ends, because you saw the last movie where the clone troopers shot all the Jedi, there's all this stuff that happened between the fifth and sixth -- I mean, second and third Star Wars movies that you didn't even see! Luckily, George Lucas has created a cartoon series (and toy line, and video game) inspired by old movie serials to tell the tale, and practically every other episode spotlights a different alien race, which is like pornography for Star Wars fans. Some of the aliens are new, but some are old favorites, like tonight's guest stars... the Twi'lek of Ryloth!

...Twi'lek? Ryloth? No? C'mon, you know the Twi'lek. Oola, the sexy green dancing girl from Jabba the Hutt's palace, the one with the head tentacles who got eaten by the Rancor? She was a Twi'lek. Aayla Secura, the sexy blue Jedi from the prequels? Twi'lek. Of course, the Twi'lek aren't all sexy, cerulean tentacle-ladies -- they have fathers and mothers and families, too. Which is why it sucks when the Separatists' droid army takes over Ryloth and puts massive gun emplacements in the middle of Twi'lek villages, using them as human shields. In tonight's episode, the second of three episodes that take place on Ryloth, Obi-Wan leads a Guns of Navarrone-inspired commando party to take out the gun emplacements and protect Twi'lek babies, all of whom will likely grow up to be dancing girls once the Jedi order is wiped out. Twi'lek baby-daddies, keep your daughters off the pole, or they may end up as Rancor food.

Catch Star Wars: The Clone Wars tonight (and every Friday) at 9 PM ET on the Cartoon Network. And check out our Week in Preview for more shows!

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