Monday, March 16
Judy Greer is back on TV in this week's House (FOX, 8pm), playing a nursing home employee who believes a cat has predicted her death. As long as we get a break from the insufferable new doctors (okay, I know they've been around for a while but I'll never accept them), I'll put up with any level of kookiness the show wants to throw at me. Although who am I kidding, of course we won't get a break!

Gossip Girl (CW, 9pm), is back from its hiatus with a (surely) bitchy new episode -- the seniors put on "The Age of Innocence," and as you could probably guess, things are anything but innocent. Especially with Dan and that teacher! Scandalous. Plus, the nefarious Carter Baizen is back -- apparently to team up with Chuck Bass?

That stupid spinoff of The Hills is ending! What's it called? Oh right, The City (MTV, 10pm). Which means I guess we have to say goodbye to she of the most ironic nickname currently on television, Whit.

Worried about BSG withdrawal? Fight the symptoms with Battlestar Galactica: Last Frakkin' Special (SciFi, 10pm) and relive some favorite moments before the series finale, yes that means last episode EVER, at the end of the week. Unexpected additional downside to series finale: we'll have to stop using the term "frak" with such reckless, joyful abandon.

Tuesday, March 17
The first Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 9pm) elimination show airs on Tuesday, preceded by a seemingly unnecessary recap special at 8PM. Unless so many "stars" (I really can't call them that unironically) get taken out by the curse between now and then that we need the recap special to catch us up on all the replacements, I fail to see the point. And even then...

The guest stars continue to sparkle on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC, 10pm), when legendary comedienne Carol Burnett shows up in what sounds like a distinctly unfunny role as a former-Rockette-turned-strip-club-owner accused of murdering one of her dancers. Matthew Lillard will be there too for some reason!

Wednesday, March 18
Think doing Research and Development at a morally questionable conglomerate sounds like fun? Then you'll love Better Off Ted (ABC, 8:30pm)! Desperate Housewives' Jay Harrington plays the titular Ted, with Portia de Rossi as his ruthless, scruple-free boss. And guess what, the pilot involves convincing a fellow employee to be cryogenically frozen! I'm in.

Want to check out Ashlee Simpson's (sorry, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz') acting chops before she shows up on the Melrose Place remake? Good news -- she and hubby Pete Wentz are appearing together on CSI: NY (CBS, 10pm) as a pair of Bonnie-and-Clyde wannabes. Huh, wannabes. Huh.

Thursday, March 19
Ugly Betty (ABC, 8pm) is going on a hiatus of undetermined length after this week's episode, in which Marc and Amanda try to sex up Betty's appearance. Will the show be back in May for sweeps week, or is it being booted 'til June? Guess it all depends on how midseason premieres Samantha Who? and In the Motherhood do... although I think that in the case of the latter, it's a foregone conclusion.

Finally, we learn who got Jan's old job at Dunder Mifflin! Tune in to The Office (NBC, 9pm) to see the sparks fly when Michael's planned 15th-anniversary party gets smacked down by Idris Elba as the no-nonsense new VP.

Remember Fame? Guess what -- it's back, and it's real! Taking the Stage (MTV, 10pm) follows students at Cincinnati's School for the Creative and Performing Arts. If you thought regular high school was hard, imagine adding in the burning desire to become a Broadway star, or a singer, or a rap video girl, or whatever those crazy kids get up to nowadays. Trust me, there's going to be da-RA-ma!

Friday, March 20
This week on Dollhouse (FOX, 9pm), Echo has to be the fake wife of a rich, lonely tech dude... played by Patton Oswalt. I like him and all, I mean he was great in Ratatouille, but he was the voice of a cartoon mouse. With no romantic interest. In fact, have any his characters ever had a romantic interest? Does anyone else think it's going to be damn creepy to see him cozying up to Eliza Dushku? I mean... oh, I don't know what I mean.

A good number of you can pretty much ignore the other recommendations for Friday because this is The Big One: that's right, the final episode of Battlestar Galactica (SciFi, 9pm) bows Friday night, an hour earlier than usual because it's a special two-hour finale. Though there is reportedly a movie in the works, nothing can ever really replace this classic of a series.

And for anyone who doesn't feel the need to know how it all comes out aboard the good ship Galactica and who currently has a subscription to the pay cable channel Starz, check out the premiere of Party Down (Starz, 10pm). Because there's nothing funnier than a group of aspiring showbiz types working as caterers until they get their big break... actually, this show has kind of a stellar cast, so maybe there will be nothing funnier!