It's hard for me to care about the Rock of Love: Bus finale for two obvious reasons -- Ashley and Farrah are gone. Which is a terrible crime. What's worse is that Bret has to choose between vile, porn-browed Taya and boring Mindy, which is just choosing the lesser of who cares?, probably to ensure a break-up and a new season. I think he'll pick Mindy, because she's just dying to drop her life and follow him around, and because Taya is secretly 40. Either way, the silver lining? Ashley and Farrah joined the cast of Charm School, everybody! With bonus Gia, Brittanya and Marcia! Yes! As Bret would say, that is "the most hottest." But back to the business at hand -- who are you rooting for? Mindy? Taya? Neither one, because he sends them both home and marries Ashley instead in a surprise twist ending? Anything could happen!

Rock of Love: Bus airs tonight at 9/8 Central on VH1. If that's not your cup of tea, check out out Week in Preview!