Secretly suspected that your high school teachers were as immature as you and your classmates? Prove yourself right with the premiere of Sit Down, Shut Up (FOX, 8:30pm) -- from the creator and a good chunk of the cast of Arrested Development!
Bonus: Read TWOP's hilarious interview with Mitch Hurwitz and Will Forte, and find out about Will's role as a pet detective in the Arrested Development movie!

Season 8 of Law & Order: Criminal Intent (USA, 9pm) hits the airwaves this week, but we don't get Goldblum-ized until next time. Sorry.

The Absolut Hunk...I mean, Jason Lewis returns to bedevil the Walker clan by tempting Kevin and Scotty into a threesome on a Brothers & Sisters (ABC, 10pm) episode cleverly entitled "s3x." Ha! Anyway, if Kevin and Scotty have a brain in their heads they'll accept, and if the folks at ABC have a brain in their heads they'll spin this off into a series. Cleverly entitled "s3x." Ha!

In Plain Sight (USA 10pm) premieres it second season tonight, and it's the one about witness protection in case your head is starting to spin a little from all the law enforcement shows they've got going on that channel. Anyway, it is sure to be action-packed and seems like it may feature Roy from The Office. So that's where he's been!

Monday, April 20
Bones (FOX, 8pm) continues to get extra airings as it pops into House's spot this week, in addition to its regular Thursday time. But neither episode is the one with Stewie Griffin, which is going to make me less likely to watch but please don't hold that against me.

On the season finale of For the Love of Ray J (VH1, 10pm), Ray decides it would be a good idea to meet the ladies' parents before settling down -- but one shawty drops out before Ray can peep moms! Wisely, I say. Find out whether it's Tigerface and who Ray eventually picks, and then tell me whether I should care. (Except I already know I shouldn't, since it's a dating show -- see what I mean here.

Tuesday, April 21
Get a glimpse into Olivia's beautiful mind on this week's Fringe (FOX, 9pm), in an episode written and directed by Akiva Goldsman! He's an Oscar-winning screenwriter you know... oh, he also wrote The Da Vinci Code. And Lost in Space. Well you know what they say, an Oscar is forever! Or maybe that's a diamond. Whatever.

Okay, what is this show The Phone (MTV, 10pm)? Justin Timberlake pairs up strangers to "survive a potentially deadly game" while following the directions he gives them through a cell phone? I love me my JT, but if he called and told me I had climb the Space Needle -- or even walk through Times Square between the hours of 6 and 8 without wanting to kick a tourist -- I would laugh hysterically and hang the hell up. Game won. By me.

Wednesday, April 22
You guys know Scrubs (ABC, 8pm) is still on, right? Well.. .now you do. And apparently Elizabeth Banks and Scott Foley will be reprising their roles as JD and Elliot's respective exes this week -- exes who've apparently gotten to know each other rather well... zoom zoom zoom!

Instead of just airing a regular episode, ABC is getting all tricky this week so you have to sit through Lost: The Story of the Oceanic 6 (ABC, 9pm) if you want to get in your Kate fix (hahahahahahahahaha just kidding). Apparently this special is going to explain what these folks were doing in the three years before they returned to the island, as if we didn't already know. If the answer turns out to be "saving money on my car insurance with Geico" I'm going to punch someone in the face.

After just seven episodes, South Park (Comedy Central, 10pm) is going on a little thing we like to call a spring season hiatus, perhaps to prepare a counterattack on Kanye after he more or less turned their gay fish episode into a devious plan to promote the hell out of himself. Well played, Mr. West, well played.

Thursday, April 23
Aww, Making the Band (MTV, 9pm) season whatever is ending. I guess that frees P Diddy up to launch his own cruise line or found his own university or whatever's coming next from his seemingly endless pipeline of dreams.

It's time for Winchester number three! Not to be confused with Winchester '73: one is a classic Western starring Jimmy Stewart and the other is Sam and Dean's younger, non-demon-chasing brother on Supernatural (CW, 9pm). Umm, does someone want to tell me why this episode is called "Jump the Shark"?

The Beast (A&E, 10pm) wraps its first season this week with some baddies from Barker's past possibly catching up with him. The series' fate is extremely uncertain right now, what with its medium-ish ratings and Swayze's failing health, so this may be the last episode ever... TiVo accordingly.

Friday, April 24
Big death on Prison Break (FOX, 8pm) tonight! And by the way, this is its new time slot. But don't bother giving that any space in your brain because this show has a mere three weeks left before it, and an additional character, are kaput. I don't even really know why I bothered to tell you.

Numb3rs (CBS, 10pm) has a whole host of guest stars from other shows tonight, including Michael Gaston from Jericho (and Fringe, apparently) and Matt Parkman's dad from Heroes. And apparently Don's real life wife will be playing some lady, and he gets injured somehow... okay, okay I'll stop. What can I tell you, it's a slow TV week.