If someone had told me five years ago that I would be waiting with bated breath to find out who would win Cycle 12 of America's Next Top Model, I would have told you you were crazy. Mainly because I could not envision a time when my wife would appreciate me watching a show about vapid, shallow, skinny bitches who lounge around in the tiniest bikinis imaginable. But since it was she who got me into the show in the first place, I have nothing to stop me from tuning in for tonight's episode. Sadly, my first choice, Celia, is gone due to her advanced (for a model) age and frowny mouth, but I still feel pretty good rooting for Blythe Doll-looking, nosebleed-coveting, "You look pretty"-mumbling Allison to win tonight's season finale. I know she takes better pictures than she does runway, but she takes a really good picture. Aminat is beautiful, but she doesn't seem to know what she's doing a lot of the time, and Teyona is a good poser, but in a very Maxim way. But then, what do I know? The sum of my modeling knowledge comes from Project Runway and late 1980s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues.