Saturday, May 30, 2009

We're guessing that someone else is going to die tonight on Harper's Island (CBS, 9 PM). We're just psychic like that.

Based on the best-selling novel, Maneater (Lifetime, 9 PM) is a two-episode mini-series that follows rich bitch Clarissa Alpert (Sarah Chalke) on the quest for her MRS. All we can say is that we hope she's as pleasantly awkward as she is on Scrubs. And that Hall & Oates make a guest appearance.

Squee!!! The absolutely delightful Pushing Daisies (ABC, 10 PM) returns to finish out its run... on a Saturday night... in the summer. Sigh. Stupid ABC. At least we don't have to wait for the DVD to see what happens with the piemaker and his friends.

Sunday May 31, 2009

LC has left the building, or at least is on her way out of The Hills (MTV, 7:58 PM), after she makes a brief pit stop at the Speidi wedding. She'll hand over her show to her former Laguna rival Kristin Cavallari in what will probably be the most dull finale of all time.

Since when has it been appropriate for Music Television to host a movie awards ceremony? Since 1992, apparently, but that's beside the point. Andy Samberg is hosting the 2009 MTV Movie Awards (MTV, 9 PM), and that's really all you need to know.

Breaking Bad (AMC, 10 PM) deserves Emmys, and lots of them (or at least we think so). Don't believe us? Tune in for the finale and see why this show is just so damned good.

Monday June 1, 2009

Let it be known that Greek (ABC Family, 8 PM) is highly underrated. Now that Andylicious is out of the picture (come back, Jesse McCartney!), Rusty and Jordan's romance is finally underway. Like we didn't know that was coming. On the other hand, new drama shall ensue due to Cappie and Evan's new involvement in the secret society. How very Ivy League of you, Cyprus-Rhodes University.

Calling it now that Janice Dickinson pulls out some bitchin' survival skills in the second season premiere of I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here (NBC, 8 PM). That, or Speidi is eaten by a lion. We can only hope.

Medium (NBC, 10 PM) airs its last NBC episode tonight before it heads on over to its new digs on CBS next season. Can you believe they are putting Medium and Ghost Whisperer together? Seems either genius or totally nuts.

Tuesday June 2, 2009

We're surprised that According to Jim (ABC, 8:30 PM) has lasted this long, but now it is time for it to go. We're not really gonna cry any tears over the end of this one.

We've seen Will Ferrell do such bizarre things as drink his own urine before, but this time he won't be playing a character. Tune in to this special episode of Man vs. Wild (Discovery, 10 PM) to watch Ferrell and Bear Grylls tackle the glaciers of northern Sweden.

Apparently Brittany Flickinger wasn't quite enough, because Paris is back tonight for the season two premiere of My New BFF (MTV, 10 PM). Rumor has it she's really going to be putting these potential besties to the test. OMGZ, we hope she picks us!

Wednesday June 3, 2009

Although we're tempted to boycott So You Think You Can Dance? (FOX, 8 PM) following the rejection of the male ballroom duo, we'll probably still tune in for the Vegas callbacks. Although if the judges are as emotional as they were last week, it might not be much fun.

Following this 19th season finale, Law & Order (NBC, 10 PM) will be tied with Gunsmoke for the longest-running drama in the history of American television! As if that's not reason enough to watch, this episode features murder! And blackmail! And stalking! And politics! It's like nothing you've never seen before.

Oh, so you think Sandhurst has a chance in hell against Branden or Jonathan? We'll find out which of the hot guys is the best catwalker on tonight's Make Me a Supermodel (Bravo, 10 PM) season finale. Mostly, we just want to see how sad Nicole looks now that all her female contestants are out of the running.

Thursday June 4, 2009

Michael's getting out of jail on tonight's Burn Notice (USA, 9 PM) season premiere. And who says there's nothing good on TV in the summer?

Medium moved to CBS, and NBC apparently couldn't be without a show about people with psychic or telepathic abilities, so they're debuting The Listener (NBC, 9 PM and 10 PM) about a paramedic who can read minds. Sounds... original.

With the end of ER, television needs a new dose of sexy doctors. Royal Pains (USA, 10 PM), a series about an E.R. surgeon (Mark Feuerstein) who's fired, then takes on the role of on-call doctor for the rich socialites of the Hamptons, tries to fill those shoes... but we're guessing this won't quite have the life force of ER.

Friday June 5, 2009

We've never seen Don't Tell the Bride (BBC America, 8 PM), but as females, we find the premise of the show to be slightly appalling. Tonight, Nick uses his $20,000 to plan the wedding that fiancée Laila considers a nightmare, and Rodney goes with a Caribbean theme for his big day with Paula. How... festive?