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Going Through Channels
Monday, June 22, 2009: <i>Secret Life of the American Teenager</i>

Tonight I will sit down to watch the season 2 premiere of what very well may be the worst show on television right now, also known as Secret Life of the American Teenager. The acting is horrible, the writing is preposterous, and the cast is average-looking. I have no excuse other than the fact that I love to hate it. Combined with my total unwillingness to admit that Molly Ringwald no longer deserves to act. (What happened to her? She used to be so awesome.)

Season one ended with the not-so-cliffhanging birth of Amy's baby. After barely any consideration of abortion (like we didn't see that one coming -- these are the creators of 7th Heaven we're dealing with) and the expectation of adoption instead (but a gay couple was considered, so the show can't be too conservative, right?), Amy decided to keep the baby. As if there was any other option that would keep the show going... but I digress. Ricky is stepping up and potentially leaving behind his troubled youth ways to take care of his kid, which is less amusing but should continue to create more drama with Adrian and Ben.

What season two of Secret Life really needs is what any show needs, really: more sex. First of all, Grace and Jack need to do it now that they're back together and she's on the pill (not because she wants to have sex, but because it reminds her of the consequences of sex and why she shouldn't have it). Seriously, it's time to drop that twisted logic and get down to business. Next, Ben and Amy need to have sex, seeing as they're "so in love" and he plans on being the surrogate father to her child. I'm feeling good about this one because there was a pretty steamy kiss in the trailer and if we've learned anything from this show, it is that making out leads directly to doing the nasty. And honestly I wouldn't be so opposed to Tom and Tammy going at it. Down's syndrome and all, these two just might be the most mature and self-aware characters on the show. I think they deserve it.

Let the fornication begin!

Secret Life of the American Teenager airs on ABC Family at 8 PM.

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