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Going Through Channels

Week in Preview: June 20, 2009 – June 26, 2009

by Shayna Makaron June 20, 2009 6:18 am

Saturday June 20, 2009

Eli Stone (ABC, 10 PM) returns from hiatus tonight and drama ensues with an awkward car ride, vengeful acquaintances from the past, and brain aneurysms. Sounds like a rough night for these guys.

If you: a) are a huge history nerd, b) enjoy watching a good ass-kicking now and then, c) have three hours to kill on a Saturday night, or d) all of the above, tune in for the season finale of The Ultimate Fighter (Spike TV, 9 PM) for the final Yankee-Brit throwdown.

Tonight marks the premiere of Brainrush (Cartoon, 8 PM), a new game show in which contestants are asked trivia questions while on a rollercoaster. You don't even have to like game shows to enjoy this one; a minor case of schadenfreude makes it totally worth watching.

Sunday June 21, 2009

If you took the first few chapters of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, put it on TV, swapped Hogwarts with Camelot and renamed Harry, you'd end up with something pretty close to the pilot episode of Merlin (NBC, 8 PM). Which honestly doesn't sound so bad.

Jessica is a big fat buzzkill on this week's episode of True Blood (HBO, 9 PM), attacking mortals and presenting "romantic inconveniences" for Sookie and Bill. Other than that, Jason impresses some people at the Light of Day leadership, which I guess is a nerd convention for people who hate vampires?

Monday June 22, 2009

The second season premiere of Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family, 8 PM) is bound to have you either hating your life because you're watching this show or loving it because you aren't on it. As expected, everyone's getting adjusted to baby John, and an "unexpected tragedy" (read: highly anticlimactic occurrence) will change everything.

Since you're already watching ABC Family, stay tuned for the series premiere of Make it or Break It (ABC Family, 9 PM), essentially the TV version of Stick It. As if competitive gymnastics isn't appealing enough, Candace Cameron Bure (!!!) plays Summer, the girlfriend of Steve Tanner. Damn you ABC Family for luring us into your crappy shows with clever incest references and has-been casting.

On tonight's episode of Nurse Jackie (Showtime, 10:30 PM), a patient arrives at the hospital after treating his heart disease with chicken soup. What are all these nurses complaining about? Clearly this show is just as wholesome and adorable as the next.

Tuesday June 23, 2009

Here's a simple analogy for you: Laguna Beach is to The O.C. as NYC Prep (Bravo, 10 PM) is to Gossip Girl -- only just about everyone on NYC Prep is ugly. Tune in for the premiere to decide if this makes you hate them more or less.

Tune in for the first audition show of the 4th season of America's Got Talent (NBC, 9 PM), which will likely be more like America don't got talent, but that's always funnier, anyway.

Speaking of a lack of talent (or any redeeming qualities, really), The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo, 9 PM) is back for the reunion special. Could be funnier if the clips didn't show everyone trying to act all ladylike. Getting a head start on your new acting careers, ladies?

Tonight marks the premiere of The Superstars (ABC, 8 PM), a new reality show in which 8 athletes are paired up with 8 celebrities to compete in a bunch of physical challenges. I recognized more of the athletes' names than the celebrities', so take that as you will.

Wednesday June 24, 2009

I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here (NBC, 8 PM) is over tonight, and our lives can resume.

Watch a billionaire playboy save a Nigerian boy in a hurricane and become a modern-day Robin Hood in the series premiere of The Philanthropist (NBC, 10 PM). It's like everything you wish would happen in real life but know never will -- British accent included.

The Real World: Cancun (MTV, 10 PM) starts tonight, and the cast's job is to provide "safe and fun spring breaks" to students. Yeah, okay. Let the slopfest commence.

Thursday June 25, 2009

Duran Duran Who? No, but really, John Taylor guest stars as Sam's new rock star love interest on Samantha Who? (ABC, 8 PM) when it returns from hiatus tonight.

Penn & Teller are awesome, orgasms are awesome; therefore, the season premiere of Penn & Teller: Bullshit (Showtime, 10 PM) with the topic of orgasms will be awesome.

On this week's Burn Notice (USA, 9 PM), Michael takes on one of the city's most wanted criminals and Sam deals with an IRS agent who happens to be the son of on of her ex-flame's. Awkward.

Friday June 26, 2009

Dammit, someone stole our idea to put The Real World in space! Virtuality (Fox, 8 PM) is a sci-fi thriller about a space crew in a techno-virus ridden ship being taped for a reality show back on Earth. Somehow this one only managed to make it to Fox Movie Special status. Hmm...wonder why.

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