Saturday, July 11, 2009

After weeks of people dying left and right on Harper's Island (CBS, 9 PM), questions are finally answered and the killer is revealed in the two-hour series finale. Let justice prevail! For the queasy, thank goodness this show is over. We don't need to see any more stabbed corpses or victims shooting their faces off.

The feminist in me is hating on Battle of the Bods (FRC, 10 PM) because the females on the show have to rank themselves in order of hotness in accordance with the male judges' rankings. Shame on them for promoting superficiality in an already body-obsessed society! Anyway, watch the second season premiere if you want to shake your disapproving head at the TV or if you just to see some hot bods.

Eli makes full use of his visions in tonight's series finale on Eli Stone (ABC, 10 PM) when he foresees the death of a close friend in a plane crash.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Right before the soul of blonde-hair model Deb enters the pearly gates of heaven after dying in a car crash, she's stopped by the gatekeeper and returns to Earth in the body of a smart, plus-size lawyer. Watch how Deb comes to learn about "inner beauty" (excuse the horrible cliché) in the pilot of Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime, 9 PM).

The economy is rough for everybody, especially for a man just beginning to work as a gigolo. In tonight's episode of Hung (HBO, 10 PM), Ray mismanages his finances, but I'm sure everything will turn out fine since Tanya's former colleague gives Ray a "test-run."

Even though tonight's Entourage (HBO, 10:30 PM) is a very disappointingly slow start to the sixth season, at least we get to see Vinnie Chase doing some acting work instead of wasting his life and his rugged good looks away.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Join bad boy chef Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel, 10 PM) in his quest for the ultimate dining experience. Tonight's stop? Chile. I suspect he'll be eating some chili in Chile. Ha ha I kid.

Bringing dance and diet together is certainly fun and entertaining to watch, but stripping is going a tad too far. Unfortunately, that's what the contestants will be doing on tonight's Dance Your Ass Off (Oxygen, 10 PM).

Yes, the time has come when not even a disorder can turn those cameras away. Follow Christa and Ryan in reality show Obsessed (A&E, 10 PM) and their struggle with OCD.

In tonight's episode of Weeds (Showtime, 10 PM), something happens that makes Nancy rethink her marriage to Esteban. Hmm not marry the sketchy mayor of Mexico-slash-drug lord? That's a tough one! While Nancy deals with her dilemma, Silas and Doug find success in selling medical marijuana -- and I was just about to think that no one would find happiness on this show.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

If you want to save yourself some time, watch the movie instead of the new TV series 10 Things I Hate About You (ABC Family, 8 PM). Bianca tries to get on Chastity's good side, and Kat has an unwanted admirer. Sound familiar? Maybe a little too familiar.

Pick up some tips to beautify your home just by watching Lisa Lynch do it on Stager Invasion (TLC, 8:30 PM) -- without having to spend $1,000.

Need an upgrade from The Hills? Miami Social (Bravo 10 PM) may just be the answer. The show follows the lives of seven "young, hot, successful" people living in Miami Beach. The series premiere covers everything from a high-profile fashion event to a lying girlfriend. Racy.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Just what we need -- another cop show. But I'll forgive this one because it doesn't seem like an ordinary LAPD storyline. A team of LA officers in Dark Blue (TNT, 10 PM) is so covert in its undercover missions that many don't recognize one of their own. The series even begins with a dead undercover FBI agent on the side of the road. Not wasting any time, are we?

The ex-playboy turned vigilante Philanthropist (NBC, 10 PM) returns to Nigeria, the setting of his epiphany, and opens an oil refinery to stimulate commerce, but not even he can prevent his dear friend Dr. Chima Balo from getting kidnapped. Poor Teddy. He has so much on his plate as it is.

The contestants of Top Chef Masters (Bravo, 10 PM) will recreate junk-food classics and make the perfect three-course mini meals. Mini meals? As in, small portions? I'm sure the chefs are well-versed in that concept.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Parents and teen pregnancy don't go hand-in-hand. And when you combine adoption, hotheaded parents and a pregnant teen who doesn't listen, that can only mean trouble. Watch it all in tonight's season finale of 16 and Pregnant (MTV, 10 PM).

Toby may not be the only gifted character on The Listener (NBC, 10 PM) when he sees a woman revive a badly injured baby. Special healing powers? Toby could steal her powers and use them to save others! Oh wait, this isn't Heroes. Or could Toby be the good version of Sylar?

Hank quarantines guests at a "bark mitzvah" (what would that even entail? Dogs?) after people come down with a serious disease in tonight's episode of Royal Pains (USA, 10 PM). Get these people some Tamiflu -- stat!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Tune in to tonight's What Not to Wear (TLC, 10 PM) to catch duo Stacy and Clinton's words of fashion wisdom as they trash (literally and figuratively) and revamp Tamara's wardrobe.