Saturday, August 29, 2009

On the season finale of Being Human (BBC America, 9 PM), Mitchell winds up in the hospital after being attacked on his doorstep. Annie arrives to defend his honor, but George is torn between helping his friend and escaping to lead a normal life. Oh, okay. Good luck with that one, Mr. Werewolf.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I can't really give you any good reason to watch the 36th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards (The CW, 8 PM), but I can tell you that Vanessa Williams is hosting, and that Guiding Light and Sesame Street will both be honored. Isn't it about time they moved this thing to the daytime where it belongs?

Futurama (Comedy Central, 9 PM) is back! For two whole hours! That's like four episodes in one! No really, it is. On "Into the Wild Green Yonder" parts 1-4, Leela joins a group of environmentalist feminists to save some primitive life forms trapped in an asteroid, and Fry wears tin-foil while trying to save the world.

Hey America, get it together and watch some Mad Men (AMC, 10 PM). This is the best show on television! Don't you want to see the writers amuse themselves while working overtime this week? You know there's bound to be booze and sexual innuendo involved. Maybe Peggy will even do her painfully awkward rendition of Bye Bye Birdie again!

Monday, August 31, 2009

The new season of Greek (ABC Family, 9 PM) is going to be so great! Casey is all alone, Evan is broke, Calvin hooks up with his roomie and Dale gets laid! It's like everything is finally coming together!

The last three contestants compete on the season finale of Dance Your Ass Off (Oxygen, 10 PM). Don't worry if you haven't been watching -- everyone knows the final weigh in is the most exciting part of the season anyway. Plus there'll be a lot less jiggling.

On the season finale of Weeds (Showtime, 10 PM), Nancy will have some decisions to make now that Esteban is back in the clutches of Pilar. Also, Silas helps Adelita with "a disturbing medical issue." Yep, all those drugs and much older "lovers" and rapey cohorts will getcha.

It's country's night to rock at the CMA Music Festival (ABC, 8 PM) with over 20 artists performing, including Taylor Swift, Kid Rock and a bunch of other hicks whose names I don't recognize. Don't forget to dress in theme!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

On tonight's episode of Flipping Out (Bravo, 10 PM), Jeff lands a new client who happens to be a major Hollywood stylist. It's like they're begging us to speculate a Rachel Zoe crossover.

One character's plans go awry, another loses his cool, and the fifth season of Rescue Me (FX, 10 PM) goes out with a bang on this finale episode.

On this baseball-themed episode of Shaq Vs. (ABC, 9 PM), Shaq nicknames himself "Shaqqie Robinson." Seriously, it is about time someone gave this man his own show.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

This week on Top Chef (Bravo, 10 PM), the contestants must prepare a meal for the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds squadron. Mmm, airplane food!

We were all pleasantly surprised to learn that we wouldn't have to wait an entire year for a new season of So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 PM), but now we've even got something to tide us over in these few in-between weeks! "The Best Of" special airing tonight will feature the best dances of all the past seasons, so prepare to have your mind blown (again).

Marmaduke, Arkansas puts itself on the map this week with its Babes of Summer pageant on Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC, 10 PM), and the Sprinkle Sisters are "the triple threat to beat." Seriously, this might be the most fascinating show on television.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

We're not exactly sure what this week's challenge will be on Project Runway (Lifetime, 10 PM), but with the episode title "Rumble on the Runway," we're thinkin' maybe some hot girly boxing uniforms. Bring on the spandex and the sparkle!

Make sure you catch the almost-original-but-still-watered-down-for-America version of Skins (BBC America, 9 PM) now, before MTV takes it and makes it a lame shadow of what it once was. On tonight's episode, Freddie has lots of teenage angst, and finds that he needs to finally take control.

It's the two-year anniversary of Kat going sober, and she decides to celebrate with a new tat...on her sister. After all, nothing says family ties like a tramp stamp that reads, "My sister has been sober for this many years: II." Watch the eternal bonds forged tonight on L.A. Ink (TLC, 10 PM).

Tonight's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta (Bravo, 10 PM) is called "My Ego is Bigger Than Your Ego." Not sure how this is different from any other episode, but as always, it sounds like exciting television.

Friday, September 4, 2009

It's a Friday night. It's also that awkward time between summer and fall. Basically, I'm telling you that there are no new shows on tonight. Really, nothing. But don't let that get you down! Snuggle up on the couch for four hours of 80s classics, starting with Flashdance (Oxygen, 8 PM), and then Can't Buy Me Love (Oxygen, 10 PM). Kinda makes you wish every night was an early September Friday night, huh?