Sunday, September 6, 2009

"A wealthy new client has very high hopes" tonight on Mad Men (AMC, 10 PM), and we can't help but wonder if it's Conrad "Connie" Hilton, as many speculated last week. How exciting that would that be? Don could get free hotel rooms when Betty kicks him out of the house! Also on the schedule for this week: Peggy looks for a roommate for her new NYC bachelorette pad, and someone will probably sing or dance, because apparently that's the theme of season 3.

On the season finale of Ruby (Style, 8 PM), Ruby visits a fat camp where she and the children inspire each other. This may be adorable, but Heavyweights it is not.

Monday, September 7, 2009

This season of Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family, 8 PM) is already over? Man, time flies when you're hating yourself every second for watching this show. On tonight's finale, Anne has her baby, who's going to be younger than his own nephew. Weird. Meanwhile, everyone else works on their dysfunctional relationships -- except for Grace's mom, of course, who is now dating (gasp!) a Jew!

If you thought the contestants looked good at the final weigh-in, the Dance Your Ass Off (Oxygen, 10 PM) reunion special is seriously going to blow your mind. Also, you'll get to see bloopers, which is an interesting concept for an unscripted reality show.

It's Oscar week on The Rachel Zoe Project (Bravo, 10 PM) and it looks like Rachel spends just about the entire episode freaking out about leaving Anne Hathaway in Brad's hands for the big night. Naturally there's a fashion disaster, because what fun would it be if there wasn't?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

90210 (CW, 9 PM) is back tonight, and, as predicted, Annie has no friends after going off the deep end and pulling a hit-and-run on prom night. Silver is now BFFs with Naomi and Adrianna, and good thing -- she might need that support if Dixon breaks up with her...over some info he receives in a text. This show is sooo on the verge.

Maybe I'm the only one, but I thought the Melrose Place (9 PM) premiere was actually pretty good! (With the exception of the horrendous Ashlee Simpson, of course.) I don't want to give anything away, so tune in tonight to see how the remake lives up to the original series and all that racy advertising they've been doing.

Season 2 of Sons of Anarchy (FX, 10 PM) starts tonight. I don't know much about this show, but I think there's going to be guns and a biker gang battling for territory. And it takes place in a town called Charming, CA, for those of you that are into all things ironic.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 PM) is back! Already! Fingers crossed that the judges change their minds and let "Sex" audition again -- he never gets old.

Glee (Fox, 9 PM) may very well have been the most hyped up show of the summer, and it's finally here! Hopefully you caught the pilot when it aired a few months ago (...or last week...or on Hulu), because tonight will actually be the second episode, and the Glee Club is going to perform for the school for the first time. Eeee, I hope this is when they do "Golddigger"!

Speaking of highly anticipated premieres, America's Next Top Model (CW, 8 PM) starts tonight, but this one could be a let down -- Paulina is gone, and rumor has it the short girls don't actually look all that short. Oh well.

Joey returns to the house for the finale episode of The Real World: Cancun (MTV, 10 PM) to get wild and bring the housemates together for one last hurrah. If one hour of debauchery isn't enough, follow it up with The Sh*t They Should Have Shown (MTV, 11 PM) reunion special. That's always the best episode of the season anyway.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Vampire Diaries (CW, 8 PM) premieres tonight, because clearly what the entertainment world needs right now is more bloodsucking. The show appears to be more or less Twilight meets Summerland, which could be either brilliant or intolerable, depending on your tastes.

The season premiere of Supernatural (CW, 9 PM) picks up where last season ended, leaving Dean and Sam to deal with the Devil's return. Is the world going to end? Probably not, but this may be the last season of the show, so get your fill now!

This week on Project Runway (Lifetime, 10 PM), the designers will have to conform to the wishes of their models. Oh man, remember when Jeffrey had to design for Angela's mother? We can only hope this is half as entertaining as that disaster.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The new season of Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9 PM) starts tonight, so while you're staying at home on a Friday night watching TV, you can watch other people shop for wedding dresses. Not that that's depressing or anything.

20/20 (ABC, 10 PM) is back for its 32nd (!!) season tonight with Barbara Walters conducting a "no holds barred" interview with LaToya Jackson. Have the tissues ready.