October 24, 2009
At first I thought this was that Ricky Gervais movie. But this Ghost Town (SyFy, 9 PM), is really about a bus full of high school students "who find out how the west was really won." Saloon prostitutes must have played a big role.

The documentary Bon Jovi: When We Were Beautiful (Showtime, 9 PM) explores the band's life on and off the road. Maybe Jon will explain why all of their songs include the phrases "it's my life" and "I'm gonna live." It's so repetitive.

October 25, 2009
Werewolves. So hot right now. If you care, an Animal Planet special, Werewolves: The Dark Survivors (Animal Planet, 9 PM) airs tonight.

Larry and Jerry collaborate for the Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO, 9 PM) and debate whether an encounter with a bare midriffed assistant should be included. I don't know... this could be headed into Letterman territory.

It's probably best if you haven't been watching My Antonio (VH1, 10 PM). But if you want to find out what faceless blonde Antonio Sabato Jr. chooses to be his next ex, the finale airs tonight.

October 26, 2009
Another trashy dating show finale! Real Chance of Love 2 (VH1, 9 PM) wraps up on Monday night. I'm predicting a third installment of Real's feminine hairstyle embarking on the hunt for love.

In this Halloween-themed episode of Gossip Girl (The CW, 9 PM), Chuck Bass opens his new club in the hotel ahead of time. He also might kiss a guy. Again.

TLC is sucking the last drops of liquid money from the rapidly drying oil well that was Jon and Kate. The special Jon & Kate Plus 8: You Ask, Kate Answers (TLC, 9 PM) forces stupid Kate to answer stupid questions from stupid viewers.

Will the vampire craze let down anytime soon? I didn't think so. Castle (ABC, 10 PM) gets in on the trend when he and Beckett encounter a murder victim with fangs and a stake driven through his heart.

October 27, 2009
Mike Epps hosts the 2009 BET Hip Hop Awards (BET, 8 PM). My pick for Hustler of the Year: me. What, I wasn't nominated? Fine, give it to Jay-Z.

The Top 20 perform on So You Think You Can Dance (FOX, 8 PM). Our only qualm so far: too much tap.

The terror reign of the Duggar family's fully functioning reproductive organs continues on 18 Kids & Counting: Anna Duggar Birth Special (TLC, 9 PM).

In contrast with the Duggars, here's a show featuring a couple that we hope can have a child this season. The second season of The Little Couple (TLC, 10 PM) premieres tonight.

I love you, I honestly love you... Jeff Lewis. I just have the feeling that we have like souls. Be my friend, Jeff. The Flipping Out: Reunion Special (Bravo, 10 PM) wraps up the third season.

October 28, 2009
A Halloween special for the whole family, Monsters Vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space (NBC, 8 PM), actually looks really cute. And it takes a lot for me to call something cute.

If by some chance you have DirecTV, you'll be able to watch the fourth season of Friday Night Lights (The 101, 9 PM).

The FBI must intervene in a murder investigation on this week's Law & Order: SVU (NBC, 9 PM), but Benson and Stabler (because they're so badass) continue their manhunt unaided.

Jay and Gloria disagree over an outfit Manny wants to wear to school on Modern Family (ABC, 9 PM). This sounds familiar. My mother did not like the Backstreet Boys and fingerless glove combo I tried to pull off in middle school.

October 29, 2009
On this week's Flash Forward (ABC, 8 PM), Demetri, Mark, and Wedeck try to connect the attack on Janis with the one made on them.

Kids are out of hand these days. A college football team is investigated on CSI (CBS, 9 PM) for the murder of their coach.

Betty White and Jeff Dunham guest star on this week's 30 Rock(NBC, 9:30 PM). Liz and Jack go to Kenneth's hometown to look for new talent (clearly just to make incest jokes about the south) and Tracy fears the "rule of three" of celebrity deaths when two celebrities die and he thinks he may be next.

Bravo's sneak peek of the Real Housewives of Atlanta: Reunion Special (Bravo, 10 PM) says it all: "Is Sheree gay?" Hmmm, the rest of my day will be occupied by this dire philosophical question.

The gang does their best to put on a wrestling match for the troops on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX, 10 PM). Danny DeVito wears spandex, too.

The League (FX, 10:30 PM) is a new comedy about a group of friends addicted to Fantasy Football. This actually looks really funny from all the previews, but I could probably do without the Fantasy Football part.

October 30,2009
If you're really into ghosts (like more than half of the Travel Channel's programming would lead me to believe), you may be interested in watching a seven hour special. Ghost Adventures: Ghost Adventures Live! (Travel, 8 PM) will document a night spent in the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum in West Virginia. Sheesh. Even the name of that asylum is crazy!

The title of this week's Law & Order (NBC, 8 PM) is "Human Flesh Search Engine." That's more than enough to get me to watch.