To be fair to Seagal, a little back story. Apparently for the last couple decades, Steven Seagal has been working as an honest-to-god, real live deputy in a Louisiana sheriff's department, going on patrol like a regular cop, working with their SWAT teams, and sharing his martial arts expertise. And that's... what this show is about. It'll follow Seagal on his day-to-day cop duties, and a bit of his personal life, but mostly I wasn't joking before -- it really is pretty much Cops starring the guy from Under Siege. Watch at your own risk, I guess, and maybe we'll get through this weird thing together.

Steven Seagal: Lawman premieres on A&E tonight at 10 PM. But, if you can't take it, I respect that you're man enough to admit it. Also, Week in Preview has other viewing options.