What, you want to know what tonight's episode is about? Well, supposedly we find out what dickish trust-fund legacy Cole's true calling is. Aside from being a hilarious smart-ass d-bag? He's obviously headed for the cocky surgery field (along with "The Todd") and not the whole bedside-manner thing, which is not his area of expertise. Flaky daydreamer Lacy, who is the show's new, slightly less effeminate J.D., apparently finds her calling to be a doctor. Way to fake it through a year of medical school, there. And older know-it-all Drew finds the love of his life, which means that either he and emotionless she-man Denise are even more jadedly connected than ever, or he has found someone else, leaving Denise free to be her awesome, hooking-up-with-chubby-dudes-after-breaking-their-noses self. Assuming there's a tenth season. Please, God, let it go.

Scrubs airs tonight at 8/7C on ABC. For more options, check out our Week in Preview!