Aside from some returning shows, I think the new (or at least new to those who live in the US) series that I'm most excited about this entire summer is The Choir. It's a reality show and it's musical and it's from the UK, and all three things are checks in the positive column for me. After all, I did get obsessed with the Idol-esque musical casting shows Any Dream Will Do and How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

So excited! I enjoyed myself last season, watching this goofy, fun show about the secret government agency tasked with protecting magical and scientifically unfathomable artifacts, and the season finale had a pretty big cliffhanger. Of course, we know that Warehouse director Artie (Saul Rubinek) isn't really dead, right? And that techno-geek Claudia is coming back to work? And that Leena the innkeeper isn't a dirty, stinking traitor?

While I'll be glued to my couch due to overindulging in potato salad, I will still make sure that the remote is close enough to change the channel to watch what is likely to be a riveting episode of The Bachelorette. Kidding. But I am DVRing it because I just can't resist watching Ali and her merry band of hopefully no longer oiled up men travel to Portugal and tarnish all their historical landmarks by making out with the fellas in all kinds of inappropriate places.

No doubt you're too exhausted from heatstroke, booze and a barbecue food coma to watch anything, but since watching fireworks on TV and falling asleep at nine PM are both lame, I'm going to suggest checking out Bridezillas for an hour. First of all, it's practically a patriotic tour through America, showcasing overweight people wanting superfluous things they can't afford, and then screaming in an entitled rage when they can't have them. Second, it's also the only new thing on tonight (unless you count The Real L Word, which I do not), so shining piece of Americana or not, it's what you're gonna have to watch.

Season One of Glenn Martin, DDS kinda passed me by, but I may have to start watching this season, if only for the guest stars. Last season's guest list was pretty impressive already (Alan Tudyk! Ty Burrell! Betty White!), but this season features guest vocals by Bret Michaels, Kristen Bell, John Corbett, Jim Parsons, Bradley Whitford, Seth MacFarlane and more. That's in addition to Kevin Nealon and Catherine O'Hara as Dr. and Mrs. Martin, of course. A show with that much talent can't be bad, right? At least, it can't sound bad, right?

You guys! Tonight is the one hour, Season 9 premiere, 100th episode spectacular of Ace of Cakes!