As for the rest of the lot, I hope that Florence Henderson keeps it together and dances like a lady. While I'm OK with the former Phyllis star being bawdy on the dance floor, I don't think I can take seeing Mrs. Brady like that. That Basic Instinct parody was bad enough. Mostly I'm just waiting for Audrina to crumble under the reality that she isn't as popular as she thinks she is, and to count how many times Bristol (or Tom or the judges) brings up her mom in any given episode.

The madness starts on ABC tonight at 8 for two hours (make sure you watch this on DVR and just skip to the dancing), up against the premieres of House, Chuck, The Event (at 9), Lone Star, How I Met Your Mother, Mike & Molly and a new episode of Gossip Girl. Your options are plentiful.

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