Reunion time! Before our beloved spray-tanned guidos and guidettes jet off to Italy for Season 4, we get to enjoy a raucous reunion tonight. All kinds of things have been promised: new footage! Awkward moments! Yelling! More boring Sammi and Ronnie crap! Big doings, people.

Why did it take so long for a blue-collar documentary/reality series to be made about American coal miners? It's like the guy behind Deadliest Catch and Ice Road Truckers got stranded in Alaska for about half a decade then suddenly noticed that West Virgina existed after the Chilean miners were trapped last year.

If there's one thing TV teaches us about being a doctor, it's that no matter how bad you are at being a doctor you can always work at the morgue. Fine motor skills might be handy when removing brain tumors from the living, but just so long as you can help solve murders, who cares about slipshod scalpeling on a corpse?

This season is make or break for United States of Tara as it struggles to keep up its overt feminist themes while balancing out the heavy background story revealed last season. While part of me wants to see showrunner Diablo Cody succeed, my own personal Gimme kind of wants the show to just implode.

The first season of Showtime's Shameless adaption comes to a close tonight with Ian and Lip facing possible jail time, Fiona trying to decide whether or not to run away with Steve (she won't, but it's cute that the show thinks we'd buy that as a legit character conflict), and all the disgustingness that's going down with Karen and certain unspeakable Frank things. I can't even deal with that last one, so I'll leave it up to Jacob. He's made of tougher stuff than I am.

The twins are out. Lock your doors. Disney Channel's Suite Life on Deck is entering a whole new level of annoyance with their television movie, The Suite Life Movie. Not since the Olsen twins have we seen a pair of twins make this much money this fast.

Returning for a second season, The Hard Times of RJ Berger will be spending tonight resolving the cliffhanger(?) of whether or not RJ's friend Lily died after she and RJ had sex while she was in the hospital after getting hit by a bus. But how could she die now that there can be a pregnancy scare plot in addition to the love triangle between them and the hot cheerleader? On the other hand, if she does die then RJ will have to cope with the feeling that his giant wang might have been what killed her, a story that just might make Hard Times's basic premise seem less like a rejected Freaks and Geeks concept.

Tonight, we draw one week closer to the Top Chef All-Stars finale (which isn't until next week, because they're trying to kill us), and I think we can all agree that it's a shocking and bewildering experience that we are watching a final three that includes Mike Isabella and Antonia. Of all the starting contestants, I counted Mike out probably the most, with the exception of, like, Stephen Asprinio, who isn't even really a chef.

Uh oh -- somebody's got "Llama Drama"! That's in quotes because it's the awesome name of tonight's second season premiere of The Fabulous Beekman Boys, meaning it's going to be a Polka Spot's antics-filled episode. And thank god for that, because I have really, really missed this ridiculous show. And Polka Spot, I think I've missed you most of all.

I haven't pinned down exactly how I feel about this final season of Big Love, but I do know that it's a vast improvement on the embarrassing fiasco that was last season, and that alone makes me feel better about letting go of this show now. Am I thrilled about the possibility of it ending on such uncertain terms? I don't think I'll know that until the end of Sunday's finale. So let's talk about that.