It's a two-hour Smallville finale, which means it's two, two, TWO times the awfulness! Okay, so maybe some of the episodes this season have been halfway decent, but it's really not hard to deliver when people's expectations are so low. After all, this show has been disappointing people for ten years -- it's gonna pleasantly surprise them at least once or twice. But those ten years have all built up to this one episode, and a big chunk of it is gonna be about a wedding we've all known was coming for at least half that time. How can it possibly fail to let everyone down?

I'll admit, it took a little bit of the fun out of the two-part season finale to learn that it was a producer-mandated rehash of last season's most popular episode, and that it would be split into two parts and run in separate weeks, but after the first installment, I am back on board with "The Paintball Episode Part II: A Fistful of Paintballs." Not only did it up the ante from the last game, it seamlessly interwove the group's fractious family dynamic, bringing the season-long dickitude of Pierce Hawthorne to a splattery head. ...That came out sounding dirtier than I intended.

Isn't this vicious cycle over yet? Not quite, since this episode will reduce the final three to a final two, and either Molly, Brittani or Hannah will be sent home. The remaining two will go to the finale, but first they must face a model's biggest challenge: talking to people! Gah! What if they mention baseball to a British person? Wars have started that way!

Anyone who tells you that their prom lived up to their expectations is a liar who should not be trusted. When we're being honest we all know that getting ready to go to the prom may be exciting, but once you get there the whole night can be underwhelming. For three friends here, underwhelming goes into total letdown as they all get dumped on the big night, but unlike most of us they are determined to make sure that they have a good night even if their expectations of the evening were denied them.

That wedding they have over-hinted about all season may not be until next week, but tonight is the episode we've actually been waiting for. It looks like the gang is going to tell Ted just how bad they think Zooey is for him. Of course, considering she's stayed past her welcome this long, there is no reason to have much hope that this will be the last time we see Zooey, even if the intervention banner shows up.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone. Why not end the day with one of the worst families on television? Because the Walkers are concluding their fifth season with Sarah and Luc's wedding tonight, as somehow, he can still stand her. I guess love really is blind.

I can't believe this season is already over (I need more!), but all I can say is thank god a miracle happened and we are actually getting another season of this spectacular show. Season 3 is still ending way too soon, but circumstances as they are, I think I can live with it and just focus on looking forward to Season 4. So, well done, Fox. I almost like you right now.

Here it is, the first week of May sweeps, and the fifth season of 30 Rock is already over. This season was pretty good, wasn't it? Sure, it wasn't Season 2, but it certainly wasn't Season 4. Liz wasn't quite as much of a total slob. Jack's existential crises made some sense. And thanks to Tracy being gone, we even got some pretty awesome Pete stories in. In fact, the season was good enough to make most of us feel a little sad every time Alec Baldwin tried to convince us 30 Rock was going to end.

It's officially May, and kicking off the month's season finale marathon is Justified, which ends its spectacular second season tonight. Just makes you want to whip up a batch of apple pie and throw a whoopty-do in the backyard in celebration, doesn't it?