Even if you've missed the first three episodes of Person of Interest, there's no need to worry: the drama is totally "getable" and "penetrable" according to co-creator and executive producer J.J. Abrams. Instead of the complex blink-and-you'll-never-understand-the-next-eight-episodes story arcs that Lost and Alias had, all you need to know about this procedural is that there are cameras. A whole lot of them.

Pineapples, mysteries, and... guest stars like Malcolm McDowell, William Shatner and Joey McIntyre? Oh my!

Are you ready to sit on your couch, stuff your face full of junk food and get inspired by a bunch of teenagers trying to lose weight to reinvent themselves for college? You better be -- I Used to Be Fat is back for a second season, with a whole new cast of overweight undergrads yearning to look good for their new classmates and kiss their sorry high school lives goodbye forever.

Although he's just celebrated the release of his new book, there's a new slew of mysteries for pretend private detective Jonathan Ames (the fictional Ames, that is, not the actual author, duh!) to solve on the upcoming season of Bored to Death, all conveniently located in the seedy, furry mascot-filled underbelly of NYC.

OMG, you guys. It's the Season 4 finale, Gus isn't blown up, Walt isn't a lifeless corpse hacked to death in his own bathtub, Jesse isn't being tortured in Mexico, Ted "The Effing Idiot" Beneke is dead (right? Yeah, we can presume that) and Hank is being protected by his DEA pals.... but like, all of those things are CRAZY! The fact that everyone is where they even are right now is mind-blowing and nail-biting and WALT KEEP YOUR STUPID BALD HEAD DOWN, GUS IS GOING TO SEE YOU, YOU IDIOT!

We've all seen arrogant genius doctor shows (cough House cough), but what about an arrogant genius doctor show with a supernatural twist?

I don't know what it is about watching FX that makes me feel okay with laughing at racism, sexism and homophobia -- as opposed to say, CBS -- but what I've learned from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The League is that there is definitely something powerful at work here, because Thursdays on this channel are basically known as "Terrific Lady Days" 'round these parts.

You guys, I don't want Dance Moms to be over. I mean, I guess it isn't, considering that it was picked up for another season and everything... but I don't want it to go away now. I would really prefer if it we got to see the insane force that is Abby Lee every single week carrying her girls and their mothers into more and more misadventures. Sigh.

Have you ever felt the desire to wear a dress made out of a television set? Or would actually sport an entire outfit adorned with real shoes? Or do you just really, really like Lady Gaga's "clothes," and not those bland scraps of fabric ordinary, boring people wear? Then you should probably tune into Mad Fashion.

Season 8 of House picks up exactly where you think it would have left off -- with the misanthropic doctor behind bars after driving his car through Cuddy's house (no wonder she left the show). He won't be in jail forever, though. So what's new for Princeton-Plainsboro?