I don't think I'll ever enjoy a Top Chef season as much as I did All-Stars, unless these contestants are totally effing crazy. I should also disclose the fact that I'm a vegetarian, so I am already queasy just thinking about the copious amount of meat getting hacked at this season. But if you like things beefy and bacony, nine just may be your lucky number!

And here's something fun: the judges include two new characters (well, new to the world of judging this show on a full-time regular basis, anyway): Emeril "Bam!" Lagasse and Hugh "The Iron Eyebrow" Acheson, with Gail "Crazy Eyes" Simmons and Tom "This Nickname Sponsored by Diet Coke TM" Colicchio returning as per usual. Naturally, back hosting will be Padma "I Witnessed This First-Hand, It Was Intense, Y'all" Lakshmi.

Top Chef Season 9 premieres tonight at 10 PM on Bravo.