Celebrate White's birthday with celebrities (including Mary Tyler Moore, Hugh Jackman, Jay Leno, Amy Poehler, Joel McHale and Carol Burnett) as they basically nice-roast the 90-year-old. There will be music, comedy, tears and -- just a guess -- a stripper jumping out of a cake. I have a gift for predicting these kinds of things.

Betty White's 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America's Golden Girl airs tonight at 8 PM on NBC. If you're in the "actual TV-watching" camp, there's Alcatraz on Fox, The Bachelor on ABC, Gossip Girl on The CW, How I Met Your Mother on CBS and Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family... and those are all at 8:00 as well.

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