It's a new season of Legend of the Seeker, and the Seeker has a new mission. Apparently, killing evil sorcerer Darken Rahl in last season's finale (which will re-air tonight, for your convenience), triggered a series of rifts between the underworld and the world of the living. Now Richard Cypher and his two companions must find the Stone of Tears in order to stop it. Except the teaser shows that Rahl is back from the dead? So, that sucks.

It's guest-star-a-palooza night on White Collar! Not only does Natalie Morales (The Middleman) return, but we also get Callie Thorne (Rescue Me) as an art historian and Kirk Acevedo (Fringe) as an FBI agent when Peter and Neal are asked by a Mafia Don to help track down a missing Bible with legendary healing powers. And did we mention that the Don is played by John Ventimiglia from The Sopranos? Between all of these people and the awesome regular cast, this show is totally spoiling us.

White Collar airs tonight at 10/9C on USA. For more options, check out our Week in Preview!

The first ladies of Coto are back tonight, and here's what's changed: they're all broke now. I've long suspected that they were all credit card millionaires anyway, but now they claim don't even have much of that to play with anymore. I don't really buy it, but you know how This Economy! is. Jeana can't even have $400 lunches that often anymore! Seriously, that is what they're whining about in this episode. Also, Gretchen is dating the dirtball to end all dirtballs, Slade, which just makes me do a Linda Blair pea soup 360 every time I think about it, so let's just leave that in the gutter, where it likes to be anyway.

It's time for America's Next Top Swimsuit Model! Now that they're down to five contestants, Tyra is putting the girls in bikinis and bringing in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Marisa Miller (O hai!) to give them sexpot lessons. Having seen the come-hither looks in some of her photos, I'm guessing Southern belle Laura doesn't need any lessons in that arena, which means Nicole, Erin, Jennifer and Sundai are gonna have to work it.

The lizard people are here! And it's... kind of exciting, I guess! Truth be told, it took me days to get through the pilot because I kept getting bored, but by the end I suppose I was glad I soldiered through it. I'm certainly glad Elizabeth Mitchell and Scott Wolf have jobs, so that's something. In any case, if you've seen the original and are looking for a respectful adaptation, this is actually a pretty good one. They took some liberties, but I think a couple of them were smart.

Poor little Leonard. Tonight, he realizes that Penny has been hiding her college football parties from him, so he enlists Sheldon's help to understand the game. Yes, Sheldon, of all people, to help him understand football. So that ought to be hilarious. Also, something called kite fighting goes on, and Raj and Wolowitz get in a real fight during it and stop being friends for a few minutes! I'm sad about that already -- emotionally wounded Wolowitz makes my heart cry worse than Sheldon needing "Soft Kitty" when he's sick.

Anyway, this show is great and you should watch it! But if you insist on defying me, our Week in Preview knows of other programs for you to watch tonight.

I guess since The Rachel Zoe Project is off the air and I somehow feel compelled to watch almost every competition reality show that is on, I will be giving the latest MTV offering a try. Basically, it's like Stylista (as a basis of comparison for the five people who watched that show), except that instead of competing for a job working on a magazine, you are working as a stylist doing shoots for magazines and the like.

It's Halloween and CBS is going all out. Medium has Elvira guest starring. But first... (this is Julie Chen's home network after all!) Ghost Whisperer meets the Headless Horseman. Yup. He's in ghost form or whatever, but still, headless horseman in this Sleepy Hollow themed episode.

Well this oughtta be great -- these women hate each other's guts. So much so that they didn't even sit down for the annual Housewives dinner party of table flipping and friendship in their finale this year, so you know tonight's reunion is just going to be a cage match. Normally they all get together to yell at Kim, but it looks like everyone's just going to yell at everyone this time. Kim hates NeNe, Lisa hates Kim, Kandi hates Nene, Nene hates Kim, everyone hates Sheree, etc.

So that big baseball game thing starts tonight and it is the Yankees vs. the Phillies, and being that I'm a Mets fan (sadly) I'm just going to sit in my corner and eat some sour grapes as our two biggest rivals face off. And I'll also gripe about how this means that my viewing schedule is all messed up, and it totally let Nigel get a big ego boost and break little Brandon's heart on So You Think You Can Dance last night. Anyway, back to the game...