I've already examined the new lineup of "celebrities" to figure out who has the best shot of making it to the end, but honestly, the reason I watch this show isn't to see who wins (I couldn't care less) but to see who makes a fool out of themselves (more than normal) on national television. Not just who is a bad dancer, but who is going to go all Wayne Newton and Cloris Leachman crazy up in here. My money is on The Hoff. I'm thinking it will only be two weeks before he shows up in his Baywatch shorts dancing to "California Gurls".

Tags: dancing with the stars, season premiere

We're all for super-sized season premieres, but more than an hour of Psych? This show already feels like it should only be a half-hour, so we're not sure how long we're gonna last when Shawn and Gus return tonight, especially since the show starts at ten freakin' o'clock. Isn't that a little late for a wacky comedy? Is it a lead-in to the late-night talk shows?

Tags: Psych, Psych Season 5, season premiere, USA

To me, White Collar is like those hats star Matthew Bomer wears as con artist/art thief Neal Caffrey. They're cute and stylish, but ultimately unnecessary. Still, every now and then you want to put one on and gad about town, so I expect that at some point this season I will tune into the show and revel in the cool.

Tags: Covert Affairs, Season 2, season premiere, series premiere, USA, White Collar

So excited! I enjoyed myself last season, watching this goofy, fun show about the secret government agency tasked with protecting magical and scientifically unfathomable artifacts, and the season finale had a pretty big cliffhanger. Of course, we know that Warehouse director Artie (Saul Rubinek) isn't really dead, right? And that techno-geek Claudia is coming back to work? And that Leena the innkeeper isn't a dirty, stinking traitor?

Tags: season premiere, Syfy, Warehouse 13

Whether you enjoyed the recent cinematic riff on the franchise or not, fans of the original A-Team series would be well served by checking out Leverage. You've got many of the same elements -- a band of criminals (although, in this case, not wrongfully accused) use their skills to help out the little people, many of whom are being pressured or placed in a corner by evil forces beyond their control. The A-Team never killed anyone, and neither do the Leverage crew -- in fact, they don't even use guns. They do, however, use their hacking, grifting and thieving skills to turn the tables on the bad guys. It results in a lot of fun role-playing, and occasionally some entertaining accents, and if it doesn't work out they send in the team's muscle to level the playing field. Who knows, maybe we'll get a so-so Leverage movie 20 years from now!

Tags: Leverage, season premiere, The A-Team

Burn Notice is back with the Season 4 premiere, and USA is saying that it's a great time for new viewers to hop on. While they probably say that a lot, we'd have to agree with them this time, because it looks like Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan) is returning to his old tricks, helping the helpless against dark forces and starting a new season-long story arc: finding out who burned him. Yes, that's what he's been doing since the beginning of the show, but this time he's actually met the guy who did the deed. All he needs to do now is figure out who he works for.

Tags: Burn Notice, Season 4, season premiere

Another batch of rich housewives, another new season. The Real Housewives of New York City is back for a fourth go-round (without beloved Bethenny Frankel), proving that the housewives function similarly to Gremlins: You add some decent ratings and they'll multiply right back at you.

Tags: Bravo, Real Housewives, Real Housewives of New York, season premiere

It's the season premiere of Lie to Me, and the show keeps trying and trying its damnedest to get me to watch it again. Because it's not like the excellent cast, including Tim Roth and Mekhi Phifer and Kelli Williams, is enough. No, they need to do it with guest stars like Erika Christensen and James Marsters, who popped up last season. This time, the show is tempting me with Jason Dohring. That's right -- Jason Dohring of Veronica Mars and Moonlight fame. Damn you, Fox! Damn you to wherever people who lure in nerds to watch their TV shows go!

Tags: Lie to Me, season premiere, Tim Roth