It's a two-hour Smallville finale, which means it's two, two, TWO times the awfulness! Okay, so maybe some of the episodes this season have been halfway decent, but it's really not hard to deliver when people's expectations are so low. After all, this show has been disappointing people for ten years -- it's gonna pleasantly surprise them at least once or twice. But those ten years have all built up to this one episode, and a big chunk of it is gonna be about a wedding we've all known was coming for at least half that time. How can it possibly fail to let everyone down?

Tags: finale, series finale, Smallville, Superman

We'll admit that we were initially psyched about the introduction of more superheroes and supervillains to the mix on Smallville -- it certainly beat the endless, drawn-out love triangles and even the generic "freak of the week" stories of the early seasons. But this... this might be too much. A two-hour special TV movie event, in which Clark discovers that there was a group of heroes before the Justice League -- called the Justice Society -- that nobody has ever mentioned or heard of before now? Even though there were over a dozen of them, they all wore brightly-colored costumes, and one of them flew around on his giant wings? This whole time, Clark, Green Arrow and the rest of the never-seen Justice League have been presented as the first team of superheroes. They can barely put together good superhero outfits that don't involve hoodies somehow, and now it turns out there have been heroes for years? We'd be excited by the introduction of the Society, with its great array of characters, if it wasn't so utterly out-of-the-blue.

Tags: Absolute Justice, Dr. Fate, Hawkman, Justice Society, Pam Grier, Smallville, Smallville: Absolute Justice, Stargirl, Superman

On Smallville, Kryptonite is always making people act funny, magic spells are always shaking up the status quo and time travel is always showing us horrible futures. But this may be the first time the show has shown us an honest-to-God alternate reality. (Forgive me if I've forgotten a prior instance. This show's been on for so, so, so long.) It happens in comics all the time -- "What If...?" and "Elseworlds" stories used to be a dime a dozen, and there are currently 52 different versions of Earth happening in the DC universe all at once. But tonight, Clark Kent uses a Kryptonian device to travel to a world where his last name... is Luthor!

Tags: Smallville

Six years ago, the question of whether or not Clark Kent would put on his Superman duds was a much-pondered one. "When would it happen? Season 5? Season 6? After all, it's not like they can go much longer without Clark wearing the red-and-blue tights... can they?" Well, they could and did. After nine seasons -- which, by the way, is more than twice as long as the run of Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, in which Dean Cain wore the tights in nearly every episode -- Tom Welling is finally going to wear the costume. Would you like to see a teaser trailer in which that happens? Well, too bad, because the official teaser trailer would rather show you the super-suit encased in crystal. I get that it's a teaser, but give me a flipping break.

Tags: Clark Kent, Season 10, season premiere, Smallville

It's the season finale of Smallville! Sadly, it's not the series finale, because while we're not sure this is the best note for the show to go out on, we have no guarantee that next season's finale will be any better. And unless there's a major game-changer tonight, which we doubt, next season will be more of the same old, same old, with Clark and Lois pretending to be in love for continuity's sake, even though they have no chemistry and no reason to be dating other than proximity and attractiveness, and Chloe on the sidelines, possibly dating a snarky Green Arrow. So unless they put one of these people out of their misery, we can already see where this is all going.

Tags: Clark Kent, season finale, Smallville, Superman