I guess this is what we get instead of a new season of Bachelor Pad.
Tonight, Sean must finally decide with whom he is going to be a short-term relationship. Will he choose curvy Catherine or blonde Lindsay? Or will he decide to choose Desiree, who was clearly his best match, but better-suited to be the next Bachelorette? Time will tell!
The Bachelor is on tonight, so get your Courtney guns a-blazing...kill shot! Ugh.
It may be Courtney's final kill shot tonight on the season finale of The Bachelor, but what we really care about is the one-hour After The Final Rose special.
In the other reunion special, Courtney and Lindzi are brought back to share their personal Bachelor experiences and newfound "fame." Plus, Ben and his final sweetie talk about if their relationship was as fake and doomed as it looked on TV. I only assume the only one who got anything out of this season was Courtney, because that debutante is all over the tabloids.
The three-hour The Bachelor season finale event airs tonight starting at 8 PM on ABC.
Three hours of The Bachelor tonight, as the first two hours will cover Chantal and Emily meeting Brad's family while he makes his final decision, and the final hour will be the always entertaining and not at all boring "After the Final Rose" special, where Brad and some girl he's pretending to be engaged to tell us all about their love while Chris Harrison acts like he's a vital part of their very real relationship. Always a sham, yet always somehow enjoyable.
Ordinarily I'd gripe about a reality show that pauses before its finale for a reunion special, but these "Women Tell All" episodes usually end up being the best of the entire season. I mean, it's The Bachelor we're talking about; the bar is pretty low. Anyway, tonight! Rozlyn (the one who got kicked off the show for allegedly hooking up with a producer) will be confronted by all the other ladies for being such a tramp that she never even slept in her own bed, had the nerve to cuddle with this staffer right in front of them, and the gamechanger -- Ella's assertion that she quote "Had [her] butt up in the air" at some point. My pearls are clutched!
Finally, The Bachelor embraces self-parody with an uncharacteristically awesome joke tagline. I think this season is going to be incredible for many reasons, not the least of which being that Bachelor Jake Pavelka is one of the cheesiest, most blatant famewhores in the annals of reality television. And that's what I love about this year -- the transparency of it all. Everybody knows this show isn't about lonely people finding love (and please, spare me the Trista and Ryan exception); it's about watching dumb people pretend to cry so they can be on television, and everything from the new tagline, to the promos -- in which Jake mugs for the camera in between shots of girls openly weeping over a guy they just met -- to the press photos featuring Jake staring wistfully into the distance in his pilot's uniform suggests that yes, ABC gets it, and they have for years. It's just nice that we're finally being honest with each other, isn't it?
The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love premieres on ABC tonight at 8 PM, and there's not much else on, unless you count an ungodly two-hour installment of Heroes, or the series premiere of Conveyor Belt of Love (ABC, 10 PM), which are also happening.