Extend your claws, everyone -- this is the story of 14 really tall girls picked to live in a house who find out what happens when the other girls aren't so polite, and are a lot more "real." It's the least real world possible, in which skinny bitches have to learn the walking, talking and smizing skills that will allow them to become successful in the sexy automaton workforce. It's the 15th cycle of America's Next Top Model!
It's time for Irish eyes to be smizing! And all other ethnicities of eyes! Tyra Banks is back with a new herd of pretty, vacuous models to bark at. As usual, they all have ridiculous names like Alasia, Naduah, Anslee and Ren, and they come from such exotic locales as Minnetonka, Minnesota and Dacula, Georgia, but mostly the midwest and Texas. Because to a small-town girl, this is the only conceivable way to break into modeling, and they also scream the loudest when you tell them they get to ride on an aeroplane.
It's time for America's Next Top Swimsuit Model! Now that they're down to five contestants, Tyra is putting the girls in bikinis and bringing in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Marisa Miller (O hai!) to give them sexpot lessons. Having seen the come-hither looks in some of her photos, I'm guessing Southern belle Laura doesn't need any lessons in that arena, which means Nicole, Erin, Jennifer and Sundai are gonna have to work it.