Well, it's time to find out which
has been all star will win the coveted craft-store disco ball.
In case you've missed your daily dose of washed up D-list celebs attempting to dance, Dancing with the Stars is back on.
I've already examined the new lineup of "celebrities" to figure out who has the best shot of making it to the end, but honestly, the reason I watch this show isn't to see who wins (I couldn't care less) but to see who makes a fool out of themselves (more than normal) on national television. Not just who is a bad dancer, but who is going to go all Wayne Newton and Cloris Leachman crazy up in here. My money is on The Hoff. I'm thinking it will only be two weeks before he shows up in his Baywatch shorts dancing to "California Gurls".
It is that time of year again where random celebrities put on tacky too-tight clothing and try and wiggle to the terrible renditions of live music that the band assaults our ears with without looking like a total lunatic. In other words, Dancing With the Stars is back!
It's that time already! Tonight one of the three finalists can call the ugliest trophy ever created -- ahem, the Mirror Ball trophy -- their own. (Seriously, who okayed the design for this?! It looks like an oversized, glittery microphone/disco ball hybrid that's super awkward to carry. And Tom Bergeron basically said it's cheap.) Hey, at least after this they can relax and eat all the food they want on Thursday!
Will Ricki Lake put other stars to shame with her Hairspray moves? Is the world going to implode when Cher shows up to support her son? Will Kristin Cavallari and her partner, Mark Ballas, hook up? How long will Nancy Grace last? Only time will tell on this season of Dancing with the Stars, but we hope the answers to these questions are: Yes, Yes, Gross and Until Tomorrow.
It's the finale, and while Jennifer Grey seems the shoo-in to win, since she's arguably the best dancer this show has this season, there's a strong chance that Kyle Massey or Bristol Palin could claim the tacky trophy as their own.
Tonight one "lucky" celebrity will get the tackiest trophy in all of TV. I don't know the logistics, but I seriously hope that ABC is slipping people cash under the table, because that mirrorball is just plain ugly. While I've spent the entire season rooting for the positively adorable Kelly Osbourne, the likelihood of her winning after she stumbled last night repeatedly is slim to none. So it will either be Donny Osmond or Mya being crowned the new champ. Much as I like Dmitry from his So You Think You Can Dance days, his performances with Mya really haven't wowed me much this season. They dance well, but they're boring. And I get why people like Donny Osmond, but he's not really my cup of tea, however, his partner Kym is the second cutest pro they have on this show (after Chelsie Hightower), so I guess I'd like to see her win. It seems like she'd really be appreciative of it and deserves something for trying to rein Donny in all season.
It's back. Again. Seems like it never went away. Now with more celebrities you've never heard of, or haven't heard of in at least 15 years. And the ones you have heard of have gotten injured and had to pull out at the last minute. So they are subbing in more reality stars. Jewel and Nancy O'Dell both announced that they'd be leaving the show. While Holly Madison (a former Hefner gal from The Girls Next Door) is all but confirmed to replace Jewel, there is still speculation about O'Dell's replacement, but all signs seem to be pointing to Bachelor jiltee Melissa. Way to capitalize on the buzz of that trainwreck, ABC.
We've already gone through the cast to figure out who stands a shot at winning, and you know, given you a refresher on who the hell these people are. Mostly I'm just excited to see some new pro dancers, Dmitry and Chelsie from So You Think You Can Dance (not to worry, non-SYTYCD peeps, these ballroom stars aren't as rebellious as Lacey). I'm also curious to watch the freak show that is Steve-O. I doubt he can dance... but he'll sure give us something to watch. Oh, and do the producers hate Karina? Ever since Mario Lopez, they've stuck her with some real winners: Billy Ray Cyrus, Floyd Mayweather, Mario (the singer, not the Lopez variety), Rocco DiSpirito and now Steve Wozniak? Just curious.
So this disaster in the making starts tonight. If you want to fill your brain with something else, check out our week in preview for other options.