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It's over! It's really, really over, kind of!
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Remember when we thought Jersey Shore was actually coming to an end?
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Did you miss seeing Pauly D. and The Situation on The Choice? Don't worry -- Snooki and JWOWW are back to give you your fix of the Jersey Shore gang.
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While we've seen enough blurred shots of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi's crotch on Jersey Shore to last a lifetime, what she hasn't completely over-shared is her journey to becoming the Bumpit Queen she is today.
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Ever since MTV debuted Jersey Shore, so many other networks have been looking for a way to cash in on the inside-look-at-a-sub-culture craze. I've seen a number of casting calls for women who identity as the "[insert region/religion/ethnicity here] Snooki," and it looks like Lifetime has the honor of finding theirs -- only impossibly less tasteful.
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It's that second time of the year again. Are you embarrassingly excited? Reluctantly engaged? Overwhelmingly appalled and just want to read this (or not even read, merely comment on) to remind yourself how awful this show is? All are welcome!
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Reunion time! Before our beloved spray-tanned guidos and guidettes jet off to Italy for Season 4, we get to enjoy a raucous reunion tonight. All kinds of things have been promised: new footage! Awkward moments! Yelling! More boring Sammi and Ronnie crap! Big doings, people.
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VH1 has decided to take advantage of Jersey Shore being off the air by airing their own Jersey-centric show, but this one is all about brides and grooms. It's mostly Bridezillas, but with a lot of Jersey flair thrown into the mix. And, well, there are some truly special characters on there.
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It's Jersey Shore reunion time again, and oh, the fun that we will have. Maybe Angelina will be there. (Angelina will totally be there, I don't know why they're pretending she might not be.) Maybe JWoww will bring some of her motorcycle fashion photos to show us. Maybe someone will punch Situation for being such an asshat there at the end. Maybe Snooki will perform her signature animal noises. Maybe I'll write Sammi and Ronnie an anonymous letter about how boring they are. Anything can happen!
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Jersey Shore, the most important thing that has ever happened, anywhere, ever, returns with new episodes tonight. Tonight! But you already know that, because everyone knows that -- it is literally the biggest news in the entire world. But now that they're in Miami, what will change? Do they have duck phones in Miami? Is there legal protection for Fred Flintstone toes? Do they even have pickles there? I don't know because I haven't left the Tri-State area since the late '40s, but I'm worried that this could get dire.
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