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December 12, 2009
After reading over the nominees for Spike TV's Video Game Awards 2009 (Spike, 8 PM), I realized that I know hardly anything about gaming, except for Mario and Princess Peach. Oh, and that game with guns and hookers. Kids like that stuff, right?
The buffest werewolf this side of anywhere, Taylor Lautner, is hosting Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 PM) this weekend. Bon Jovi will perform as well.December 13, 2009
I've never wanted Dexter to kill anyone more than I want him to kill Trinity. The season finale of Dexter (Showtime, 9 PM) promises huge twists and a major showdown between Trinity and Dexter. Deb also learns more about Dexter's identity.
I'm not sure if I'll watch The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty (A&E, 10 PM). It just seems so intrusive. And wrong. Okay, I'm sold.
Keeping Up with The Kardashians (E!, 10 PM) only managed to stay away from TV for a few short weeks since the wedding special. What great things will the Kardashian sisters contribute to culture this season?
The People Speak (History, 8 PM) is a documentary stemming from Howard Zinn's book A People's History of the United States. Matt Damon produced, and countless other actors and artists will appear in the documentary.December 14, 2009
Christmas is coming up, just in case you haven't seen the gazillion Christmas-themed ads on TV. In the special Jennifer Hudson: I'll Be Home for Christmas (ABC, 8 PM), the singer performs around Chicago. Michael Buble will be there, too.
The twist in the new singing competition show, Sing-Off (NBC, 8 PM), is that everything is completely a capella. This show is completely necessary.
The second season finale of Lie to Me (FOX, 9 PM) airs tonight.December 15, 2009
I couldn't believe how calm Gordon Ramsay appeared in the preview for the Fox special Gordon Ramsay: Cookalong Live (FOX, 9 PM). I'm still afraid that he'll yell at me through the TV for not properly oiling a pan.
Paranormal State (A&E, 10 PM) premieres for a fourth season.
I doubt that too many of the commercials featured on TBS Special: Funniest Commericals of the Year (TBS, 10 PM) will be that funny. Yet somehow people still laugh at the Geico caveman commercials.December 16, 2009
The sixth season finale of So You Think You Can Dance (FOX, 8 PM) is tonight. Both members of the married couple are still in the running. Adorable!
In case you missed it, Mike Voltaggio is Top Chef, and he came in second to none other than his brother Bryan. The Top Chef: Watch What Happens Reunion (Bravo, 9 PM) is hosted by my imaginary BFF, Andy Cohen.
I still watch Nip/Tuck (FX, 10 PM). Does that make me lame? If it does, so be it. Find out where Christian and Sean leave off in the sixth season finale.
Tune in to The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Reunion Show (MTV, 10PM). Now that $300,000 has been distributed amongst several challenge cast members, that income will only last until the next challenge. And all the same people will be there again.December 17, 2009
The documentary BBC America: The Truth About Online Anorexia (BBCA, 8 PM) explores pro-ana websites. Kind of cringeworthy, but also intriguing.
I had thought Gilly was a funny character at first, but I'm starting to see through her cold exterior. Kristen Wiig stars in a two-hour Saturday Night Live: A Very Gilly Christmas (NBC, 8 PM) special. Sorry.
If you're not easily offended and you like political cartoons, SuperNews (Current TV, 11 PM) airs every Thursday night and just might be for you.December 18, 2009
Crash (Starz, 10 PM) wraps up a second season tonight. -
December 19, 2009
The first of three final specials follows the Doctor to Mars, where he has to save the human race from a spreading infection, in Doctor Who: Waters of Mars (BBCA, 9 PM).
Modern-day renaissance man James Franco is hosting Saturday Night Live (NBC, 11:30 PM) this week. Muse is the musical guest, but I only know who they are because they had a song on the American Eagle Outfitters soundtrack when I worked there.December 20, 2009
The preview for the season finale of Survivor (CBS, 8 PM) calls eternally-shirtless Russell the "most evil player ever." I would agree, due to him thinking that he's a king simply because someone dropped some grapes in his mouth.
I'm not sure why, but George Lopez is hosting the special Christmas in Washington (TNT, 8 PM), which features Rob Thomas, Neil Diamond, Mary J. Blige, and Usher.
Kendra: Here Comes Baby (E!, 9 PM) documents the birth of Kendra and Hank's son. Will Hef show up to the delivery room in person?December 21, 2009
Gone so soon! The Sing-Off (NBC, 8 PM) season finale features a Boyz II Men reunion. Quick, someone find Nick Lachey some work!
The 5th season finale of The Closer (TNT, 9 PM) airs tonight.December 22, 2009
My personal favorite Christmas-themed movie, Christmas Vacation (AMC, 8 PM) may be a good choice for your more cynical family members.
Tonight's episode of Scrubs (ABC, 8:30PM) features what the preview calls "an interracial Hardy Boys parody." Um, should I be offended?
An alternative to the drama of MTV's Teen Mom is I'm Pregnant...And 55 Years Old (Health, 9:30 PM). I can safely say that this mother's biggest problem is probably not finishing high school.
I generally like to stay away from the shows that my sister enjoys, but this season of The Bad Girls Club (Oxygen, 10 PM) is enjoyable due to the presence of a certain bad girl. Look for Natalie to declare that she "runs LA" about every 4.3 seconds, whatever that means.December 23, 2009
CBS Special: A Home for the Holidays (CBS, 8 PM) features performances by Faith Hill, Reba McEntire, and the apparently very Christmas-friendly Mary J. Blige. She must have an album coming out.
Of course there's more to see on Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Sh*t They Should Have Shown (MTV, 10 PM). There's always another former Real Worlder looking to extend their 15minutes.December 24, 2009
It's A Wonderful Life (NBC, 8 PM) may be the greatest Christmas story ever told. When I was a kid I always thought it would be cool to have a wicker wheelchair just like Lionel Barrymore's when I get old. They probably don't make them like they used to.
The series finale of Raising the Bar (TNT, 10 PM) airs tonight, following two previously unaired episodes. A sad day, indeed, for Zach Morris.December 25, 2009
Even though you'll probably wish you shot both of your eyes out with BB gun after 24 hours of A Christmas Story (TNT, 8 PM 12/24 to 8PM 12/25), it's hard to avoid this holiday classic. -
I know that I shouldn't be so excited for a new season of The Challenge (now missing the Real World/Road Rules in the title), especially since I stopped watching Real World years ago, but I can't help myself. It's like somehow this is what all-star editions of Survivor should be like, but aren't. I wrote a whole rant about the fact that other challenge-based reality shows should take a lesson from this stupid little MTV show. Anyway, there's something about this nutty series that fills a void in my life and maybe that's why I can't stop watching. Also, I like watching grown men just pound the hell out of each other for thirty five dollars and a cheap iPod knock-off.
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$300,000 is a sum of money that very few earn in a lifetime, at least not all in one lump. So what better than to offer it as a prize to a bunch of reality non-stars who were once on MTV? That's right, The Real World/Road Rules Challenge is back, this time with "The Duel 2" as its dramatic after-colon descriptor. Also, it's going to be in New Zealand, which means that they'll finally have something other than Lord of the Rings and Flight of the Conchords to brag about, I guess. I'd try to list some of the more prominent cast members, but to be honest they've all been on so many different versions of these shows that I can't keep anything straight anymore. It looks like there are six people from RW Hollywood and Sydney, so that's something. And apparently some of these competitors haven't been on TV since The Gauntlet 2 in 2006 -- tell me, does anyone really still care?
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