Movies Without Pity

Indie Snapshot: Someone Marry Barry

by admin February 7, 2014 5:55 am
Indie Snapshot: Someone Marry Barry

The new comedy (and I'm using the word "comedy" very loosely here) Someone Marry Barry is one of those movies destined to be buried in the depths of Netflix Instant -- one of those movies that you ponder out loud, "What the hell is this?", notice its dismal one-star rating, and if you're feeling especially bored (or desperate) actually dare to watch. And then you'll know, within the first two minutes, why this is a bottom-of-the-barrel, grotesque and unfathomably stupid movie no one paid any attention to.

Playing exactly like a crass, cheap CBS sitcom -- but somehow one with even less tact and punch lines -- Someone Marry Barry follows four childhood friends (Tyler Labine, Damon Wayans Jr., Hayes MacArthur, Thomas Middleditch) who all fit into very convenient, albeit unbelievable stereotypes and who would never, in a million years, all remain friends. Especially not with the rude, creepy, disgusting, racist, sexist, low life sociopath that is Barry (Labine, who has carved out something of a niche as the oafish best friend) making their lives a living hell.

Barry makes inappropriate speeches at funerals, he comes up with dumb catchphrases like "twunt" (that's twat plus cunt, for those of you keeping score), he ogles women ("Bring on the vagina!" he declares at one point), he gets his friends fired from their jobs and/or ruins their marriage proposals, he constantly makes references to farting and masturbation, and that's funny becauseā€¦ oh right, it's not. No one over the age of 12 would find Barry, or his one-dimensional friends funny or even mildly resembling a real, human person worth giving an ounce of a shit about for 90 minutes.

Barry's pals decide that they need someone to take Barry off their hands and concoct a plan to wed him off. After some failed experiments such as speed dating and getting him a mail-order bride, it looks hopeless. That is until fate (read: lazy, convenient writing) steps in and Barry meets Melanie (Lucy Punch, turning her no-filter character from Ben and Kate up to 11), a female version of himself. She talks about yeast infections on first dates and wears her long-suffering roommate's thongs. So not only will you have to suffer through one of these characters, but then there are two. So, it's more farting and masturbation and social ineptness, but it's even funnier because it's a woman and women don't do those things! (Oh, and don't worry ladies, we're all wildly terrible caricatures that either fall into the "hot", "cool", or "manipulative bitch" category.)

Things all come to a head when Barry's pals invite him and Melanie on a weekend getaway and they do unimaginably, unforgivable things, one of which includes burning down the very cabin they're all staying in. Barry's pals tell him they want nothing to do with him, he splits with Melanie after a big fight from the fallout, and why you should care what happens to the fate of any of these characters is beyond me. Barry and Melanie are bad, mentally disturbed people who don't deserve some rom-com ending.

Someone Marry Barry is a stupid comedy operating at the lowest common denominator. It tries to be wicked and outrageous, but you need a little bit of smarts and/or wit for that to work, and it has neither. When it shifts gears to sentimental in the last act, it's as unearned and unrealistic as anything else in the movie. The cast is talented, which makes it even sadder to watch them have to try anything with this material. (Ed Helms makes a brief cameo and you'll simply wonder how he was convinced to do this. But, then again, just look at the cast of Movie 43.)

I'm not entirely sure what the point of Someone Marry Barry is, other than, perhaps that the notion that there is someone for everyone. But if you're an even halfway intelligent, good-humored, decent human being you'll mostly just feel terrible that people like Barry and Melanie were able to find love despite their utter lack of empathy for anyone else in their lives. And you'll just feel terrible for watching it in the first place.

Get showtimes and tickets for this movie from Fandango.




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