BLOGS

Movies Without Pity

Super Bowl 2014: Judging the Movie Trailers

by Ethan Alter February 3, 2014 11:43 am
Super Bowl 2014: Judging the Movie Trailers

We recap the big, blowout movie trailers glimpsed during last night's big, blowout game.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2
What Is It? The continuing adventures of the rebooted wall-crawler, this time with a gazillion more villains and special effects.
Best Moment: Spidey catching a falling Gwen in mid-air… shades of a certain tragedy to come?
Worst Moment: The "joke" about Peter cleaning the non-existent chimney. We know Spidey's got a corny sense of humor, but that's a web too far.
Do We Want to See the Movie?
Meh. We weren't huge fans of the previous installment and the decision to pack the movie with villains -- always a warning sign (see also: Batman & Robin and Iron Man 2) -- suggests a lack of confidence in the talents of Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone… the best things about first film.



Captain America: The Winter Soldier
What Is It? The Star-Spangled Avenger takes on a former-friend/now-foe from his past, with the aid of Nick Fury, Black Widow and The Falcon. But not the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Seriously, screw those guys.
Best Moment: The discordant rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" that scores the teaser.
Worst Moment: When it ended.
Do We Want to See the Movie? Um… yes, please. Now would be ideal.



Draft Day
What Is It? Kevin Costner returns to the wide, wide world of sports movies, this time as Cleveland Browns GM Sonny Weaver Jr., as he attempts to lock down the NFL's number one draft pick.
Best Moment: The reminder that football season is now official over. Phew! Pretending to care was starting to really take its toll.
Worst Moment: A Sean "P. Diddy" Combs sighting. We hoped thought he was done with the acting thing?
Do We Want to See the Movie?
As long as the picture is closer to Bull Durham than For the Love of the Game we could be down.


Muppet's Most Wanted
What Is It? Kermit and the gang head to Europe and get caught up in a jewel heist. Funny… we seem to remember that happening to them before. Best Moment: Tina Fey's Natasha Fatale accent still slays us. It would almost be worth making another live-action Rocky and Bullwinkle movie to see her in the part. On second though… no it wouldn't.
Worst Moment: The fake Tweets were funny the first time, but it's a joke that's starting to wear thin.
Do We Want to See the Movie? We'd be more excited for it that annoying new Muppet Walter gone back to his home planet after the last movie, but at least the sequel's focus appears to be on the classic characters instead of allowing interfering humans like Jason Segel to steal the spotlight.


Need for Speed
What Is It? Aaron Paul speeds away from Breaking Bad and towards his very own Fast and the Furious franchise.
Best Moment: The almost complete lack of dialogue. After all, who watches a Fast and the Furious and wishes that the characters would talk more?
Worst Moment: The brief glimpse of terminally bland British import Imogen Poots behind the wheel. We thought we all collectively agreed that she wasn't going to be a thing.
Do We Want to See the Movie? Our affection for Aaron Paul plus the lack of another Fast and Furious movie until 2015 ultimately makes us more amenable to this bootleg version that we might otherwise be.


Noah
What Is It? Darren Aronofsky drowns the world in a CGI-assisted flood and only Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Percy Jackson, Hermione Granger and two of every animal species (save for unicorns) survive.
Best Moment: The God-sent raging waters sweep away a gaggle of puny humans.
Worst Moment: The CGI-animals aren't even close to being in the same league as the digital tiger from Life of Pi. At least, not yet.
Do We Want to See the Movie? We'll give Aronofsky the benefit of the doubt, but there's little of his personal stamp to be found in this spectacle-heavy teaser. Probably because Paramount is eager to avoid another Fountain-type situation, for which we can't say we blame them.



Transformers: Age of Extinction
What Is It? Somehow Earth is still standing despite the fact that giant transforming robots have been whaling on each other for three movies now. The addition of giant robot dinosaurs, though, might finally make the world as we know it a thing of the past.
Best Moment: The scene where Optimus Prime steps on Shia LaBeouf, squashing him flat. Wait, you mean that wasn't in the teaser? Damn, we must have dreamed it.
Worst Moment: The shot of the Transformers sitting atop a robot dinosaur is like something we dreamed up as children. Emphasis on the words as children.
Do We Want to See the Movie?
Don't mind us… we're just over in the corner quietly weeping at sitting through another three hours of interchangeable robots punching each other.

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

MOST RECENT POSTS

BLOG ARCHIVES

Movies Without Pity

March 2014

16 ENTRIES

February 2014

22 ENTRIES

January 2014

21 ENTRIES

December 2013

25 ENTRIES

November 2013

21 ENTRIES

October 2013

26 ENTRIES

September 2013

16 ENTRIES

August 2013

22 ENTRIES

July 2013

22 ENTRIES

June 2013

21 ENTRIES

May 2013

22 ENTRIES

April 2013

19 ENTRIES

March 2013

28 ENTRIES

February 2013

16 ENTRIES

January 2013

16 ENTRIES

December 2012

21 ENTRIES

November 2012

19 ENTRIES

October 2012

20 ENTRIES

September 2012

19 ENTRIES

August 2012

19 ENTRIES

July 2012

17 ENTRIES

June 2012

24 ENTRIES

May 2012

21 ENTRIES

April 2012

22 ENTRIES

March 2012

26 ENTRIES

February 2012

25 ENTRIES

January 2012

25 ENTRIES

The Latest Activity On TwOP